The Bun Life: 2012 - The End Of The World, What Would Frannie Do?

I saw the movie 2012 the other night, I brought my father with us cause I knew he would like the movie. John Cusack is a great actor, and the movie was really great. Not too far fetched, and I like that.

At the end they are trying to get this huge door closed to make their ship watertight, and this one lady had a little dog that wound up on the opposite side of a crevice (without giving the movie away), and the only way to save the dog was to convince it to jump. She urged the dog by telling it to jump to her and after a few times the dog did just that, and it was saved. The movie ended shortly after, end of story.

On the way home, the conversation inevitably turned into a "What would you do if the world ended" type group talk. Of course my first thoughts family? No. My friends? No. My car? Nope. My neighbors? Not a chance. Innocent bystanders under the age of 6 that can't help themselves? Nope. My 4 fluffy bunny rabbits? Hell Yeah!!

Everyone laughed as I described the scenario of chasing the bunny rabbits around the house trying to convince them of the levity of the situation. I would be yelling, "The world is ending you idiots!" and they would be running under the couch. Then after about 15 minutes, I would be jetting to my car, 4 bunnies in tow.

Then I thought of the movie, and the part with the dog. Naturally, my thoughts replaced that very dog with guess what? Fran. The most indifferent living thing in the natural world to date. If all Frannie had to do was jump into my arms to save herself, you can count her out, not a chance in furry hell would Fran engage in any physical activity that even remotely resembled moving toward me in any plausible fashion. Not gonna happen. I can just picture it now, "Baby Fwann! Jump to me Frannie, come on Frannie, your gonna die, please jump!!!" Frannie would look, and she would think, "Hmm, I bet this is merely a ploy to pick me up and do my nails or some unpleasant crap. Hmmm, get picked up by Jim or die a fiery death. I'll take death. Nahhh. You go ahead Jim, I'll be fine."

Me convincing Frannie to do anything I want besides take a carrot or eat her food is a futile journey. Poor Fran, what the hell are we gonna do in 3 years Frannie??

The Bun Life - Bunnies on Strike??

I couldn't believe it, this letter from the bunnies was on my desk this morning. From what it says, they are now on strike I guess, how the hell is that even possible? Well, lets read the letter and see if we can find out what's going on.

Dear Jim,

Me and Thumper thought that we could settle things amicably with you, evidently that is not possible. Both of us (who cares about the other 2 bunnies) are fed up with the treatment we have received while remaining in your care, we have no choice but to go on strike until our demands are met, and if you don't comply within 72 hours we will be getting an official divorce from you. I am hoping the rescue will at least let us sleep on the couch for a few nights, or under the couch would be better :)

You have violated our bunny rights and our personal space in the following horrendous ways, we demand that you cease and desist all of the following behavior:

  • You have picked me up on multiple occasions to hug me and pet me, even after my constant efforts to dodge this behavior, you still persisted. This is unacceptable, don't you know that we hate to be picked up? We have night terrors about being picked up for hours on end, also we have ones where our teeth fall out or we go to school naked, but that is irrelevant.
  • On at least 3 different days over the last month, you have been up to 15 minutes late with our morning pellets. We have a routine Jim, can't you respect that?
  • You have been cheating on us. Don't try and deny it, we smell the rescue bunnies on your pant legs sometimes. How dare you clean the litterbox of another woman, I mean female bunny?
  • You and Fuzzy have been smoking pot, DON'T DENY IT! I see you sitting with her while both of you take bong hits from that motorized bong. Why do you guys call it "The Nebulizer" anyway?
  • The couch is terribly low on stuffing, where the hell did it go anyway??
  • Clipping my nails, I can't believe you did this to me. Do I clip your nails? No. Do I run up and pick you up and call you idiotic names like Baby Jim, or Jimesca, or Mrs. Jim Jim???? No. So don't do it to me, or us rather.
  • You constantly make fun of my bionic ears, and comment on my weight, and EVEN sometimes how UGLY I am!! Who are you, Fabio?? Let me tell you, if I was a human and I looked like you, I would still hide under the couch all day! I can't help it if my ears have a mind of their own, and my weight has always fluctuated, ever since I went on that Shit-Fast protein shake diet. Man, that was rough.
  • You always insist on placing a fence around the TV, this is very annoying, we have been dying to get back there and chew all the wires, so you need to remove this at once. Your lucky I fell asleep on the cable box or else I would have decimated your home theater experience. 
This just scratches the surface, Thumper had a few things he wanted to add but who cares about his minor grievances. Like we said, you have 3 days to decide, I have the Bunderground Railroad on standby, so let me know.

Regretfully Yours,

Fran (and Thumps)

Wow! Frannie sounds upset, I never knew that she could write English so well. I have a lot to think about over the next few days I guess.

The Bun Life - Frannie's Sneaky Surprise

I haven't posted in a bit, been feeling crappy due to my gallbladder, but will likely be having it out soon. Anyway, onto the bunny stuff, who cares about my health crap right? Okay, here is the situation:

I have a playpen that goes around my entire big screen TV and completely seals off the TV area so the bunnies can't get behind it and chew everything up and get electrocuted. The other night I wanted to watch a movie, and I wanted the screen to be unobstructed, so I removed the playpen from around the TV just for the duration of the movie. I have done this before with no issues. Well, during the movie, I fall asleep. When I wake up, I put the recliner down and see the TV is off due to the sleep timer I always set in case I fall asleep.

I go to the bathroom, then to the kitchen to get a drink, and then come to the couch and sit down, eager to watch more TV. I clicked the remote, nothing happens. I hold the remote at different angles in case the beam is hitting the furniture or something, nothing. Hmm. I get two new batteries out of the drawer of the coffee table and replace the ones in the remote control, and try it again. Nothing. What the hell?

As I am trying to figure out what the problem is, I just happen to glance over at the cable box and guess what I see? Frannie!!! Sprawled out, laying down stuffed in the shelf of the entertainment center with her front paw hanging over the remote sensor for the cable box. I was shocked and couldn't believe that she stuffed herself in there. She could have easily got behind the TV and chew every wire in sight. I scooped her up and she was looking at me the whole time as if to say, "What? Something wrong? What is the big deal, I was just laying down in the entertainment center!"

Unreal Fran, unreal. It was so shocking because it was the absolute last thing I expected to see when looking on the shelf at the cabe box. She is something else, I tell you.

The Bun Life - Census Bureau Lady Person Researcher Woman Visit

About a month ago, I got a letter in the mail (where else do you get letters right?) that warned me, okay told me, about a visit I would be getting from a survey person. That person is from some group doing a study on some subject. If I am ultimately chosen, after answering a few basic questions, to participate in the hour long survey, that I would receive thirty bucks cash. Hey shit, who doesn't need thirty bucks cash right? After all, that's like 8 bags of spring mix for the kids (bunnies).

So, I sat in my apartment for a month, waiting with wings for this survey person. She finally made my millenium by knocking on the door and offering me the survey. Okay, I totally had forgotten about it the second I tossed the letter, but what the hell. I grilled her a little bit to make sure it wasn't some scam to get social security numbers for identity theft (yes, people do that) and when I was certain she was legit I let her in. Well, once she saw Frannie hanging out by the TV it was all over, "Ohhhh mmmyyyy, you have BUNNIES???" and then we talked about bunnies for an hour. After that she asked me the basic questions and then her computer told her I was selected to participate in the hour long survey. She was like, "Oh great, I get to come back and see the bunnies again!"

She came back the next day and we did the survey. Only took an hour, and she handed me thirty bucks and a receipt that said so. When she left I saw that the receipt had check boxes to either accept the money or decline the money. I was like YEAH RIGHT, decline free money while crackheads are up at Waldbaums asking me to let them charge my groceries on their welfare card so I can give them cash in return?? Helllll no! You know why they need cash right?? If you don't then you are the one who agreed to do it :) Crack dealers don't take produce in place of Jefferson's. I just thought it was funny how they had that option, even more funny was that the lady never told me about it. That just tells me that she felt the same way I did.

Deny Baby Fwan her 8 bags of spring mix so the crackheads can keep welfare in business?? I think not.

The Bun Life: New Product "Self Bunny Catching Carrier"

Okay, I know what you are saying, "What the hell is a self catching bunny carrier?", right? Well, if that isn't what you're saying then you should be! Thumper, my white giant albino fluffy lop bunny rabbit (how many adjectives?) needed to be brushed the other night. Frannie did too but I brushed her and was done with it. Thumper, on the other hand, was determined to not be picked up and brushed no matter what the cost.

After pointlessly chasing him around the living room for an hour, I decided to get the bunny carrier out. I would place it down on the ground, open the door, and try to herd him into it by chasing him that way. It didn't matter what I did, he wasn't going in the damn carrier. Then, I was paged by work (of course), and I went into the computer room to do some work. I just left the carrier laying on the ground where it was.

After about an hour of working, I walked out to get Thumper a carrot. Only problem was, I couldn't find him. I tipped the couch over and only found Baby Fwan, no Tumps. I started thinking about that game show, "Where In The World Is Carmen Tumpie Rabbits?" Then after about 5 minutes of looking all over, I turned to glance at the carrier and guess who was sitting in the carrier all peaceful with the door closed? Thumper! Okay, I lied about the door being closed part. Lassie he definitely ain't, but caught he definitely was.

I couldn't believe that he didn't run out of the carrier even after seeing me come in the room. I was laughing my tail off. Okay, that was yet another lie, I don't have a tail, but a girl I once dated did. Her prom dress was a nightmare to tailor. Anyway, back to the important thing, the self bunny catching carrier. I am now selling them for $275.00 plus luxury tax (so Fran can live in the lap of luxury), hey they are a great buy, all you have to do to catch the bunny is place it down and walk away for an hour. When you return your bunny will be chilling out in the carrier waiting to be caught (if he has rocks in his head like one white rabbit I know).

The Bun Life - Bunnies and m&m's???

'Twas the night before absolutely nothing and all through the house (apartment), not a creature was stirring (except 2 my two free range bunnies) not even a mouse. The bag of m&m's dangled from my hand with care, not knowing that Thumper would soon be right there. I was scratching and snoring when, from the other side of the living room, arose a clatter. I jumped up from my slumber to see what the hell was the matter. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but my stupid fluffy white bunny rabbit eating a bag of m&m's!!

I was horrified to see Thumper chewing on my bag of regular m&m's. I jumped up and immediately took it away from him. Thankfully there wasn't that many left, I think he ate five or six, maybe even less. I watched both him and Fran closely for the rest of the night, thankfully they are fine. Would you believe it, that little white devil spends his time sniffing the carpet and licking the carpet looking for more m&m's!!

I looked up a bunch of stuff on the web, some good and some bad, mostly I watched him and Fran. Fran was doing wheelies all night while Thumper chased her around the apartment trying to face hump her, business as usual to me. These crazy bunnies, thank god my mistake didn't cost poor Thumps his life. No more candy in that room that's for sure.

The Bun Life - Why Do They Do That?

I brought Thumps to the rescue the other night, I volunteer there weekly to clean the cages, feed them , etc. I wanted Nancy, the woman who owns the house where the rescue bunnies reside, to help me cut his nails because Thumps practically turns me into swiss cheese when I try to cut his nails. He pulls away every time right before I cut the nail, by the time I am done I am so nervous I feel like I drank a trillion cups of coffee. So my thinking is that 2 people would be needed to cut his nails right? One to hold him, and the other to cut. Nope.

I am sure you other bunny owners can sympathize with me on this one, don't you hate it when your bunny behaves perfectly for a complete stranger than they do for you? I hate that :) Nancy was holding him in her arms when she came down. I wanted to shoot him! He NEVER lets me hold him, if i so much as even think of picking him up he bites my Achilles heel off (okay I am exaggerating, but you know what I mean). That stupid fat lop albino white fluffy booby rabbit!! Okay, I am done insulting Thumper now. Then she cut his nails, ALL BY HERSELF! Unreal, I could kill him. He just sat there like a good old hospital patient while she did what she needed to do. If that was me it would've taken about 4 days to sit there and cut each nail while he jostled and pulled away each time.

Why do they do that? When my sister comes over he jumps up onto the couch into her lap. Oh the humanity! Why doesn't he jump into my lap?? Because in his mind, I am the food getter, the guy that brushes my hair, the guy that talks to me like a stupid baby, and the guy that tries to stuff me in a carrier when I don't want to be. So his first thought is to run when he sees me coming, so sad. Oh well, guess I'll just go watch soap operas with Baby Fwan, I think The Buns of Our Lives is on.

The Bun Life - New Gas Chamber Idea For Fuzzy Wuzzles

After about 10 min of sitting on my lap breathing in the nebulizer with her head in one position, Fuzzy was having no more of it. She would squirm and turn her head the whole time, thus wasting the nebulizer meds. So I decided to turn my carrier into a temporary gas chamber for Fuzzball.

I read about the benefits and disadvantages of using a chamber with bunnies. Nevertheless, I have to nebulize her twice a day so there is no way she will sit through 45 minutes a day of me holding her head one way. I don't think she would like the mask, plus I can do other things while she is being gassed.

Here is my version of the Ghettobulizer:

Not Bad Huh?

The Bun Life - The Nebulizer Bunny

Well, I began nebulizing Fuzzy Wabbles today. For those of you who don't know what that is, nebulizer is a machine that vaporizes medication and the patient holds it to their mouth and inhales. Kind of like a bong hit, but instead of pot you are inhaling medicine. Fuzzy has had a respiratory infection for ages now, this is my attempt to knock it out for good. She is so funny sitting there with the smoke going into her nose, she doesn't move a muscle, I had to pinch her to make sure she was still alive for god's sake.

Instead of the Energizer Bunny, Fuzzy Wabbles is now the Nebulizer Bunny. I guess that would be like the crackhead version of the Energizer Bunny, instead of starting up UFO's, Fuzzy would go around sneezing and blowing snot all over everyone!! Oh no, it's the Nebulizer Bunny! Everybody run! Poor Fuzzy, she never asked for this fame and fortune, she just wants to be a good little fuzzball. But no, now she shall nebulize all of mankind, and bring white snot to those who are less fortunate! Go Fuzzy!

The Bun Life - Close Call

Wow! I couldn't believe the close call I had the other day with Thumps and Frannie. I live in an apartment building and on the lower floor. The people above me all have small dogs in their apartments. Well the other day, I am getting ready to go out, remember T & F are free range now, so I open my front door to leave and just at that exact moment one of the upstairs neighbors is coming down the stairs with their dog. It was a small chihuahua type thing. This thing was not on a leash and made a bee line right for my living room, WHERE MY BUNS ARE!! He bolted between my legs and I frantically swirled around and grabbed the dog with both arms, lifting him up and putting him down outside my apartment door. Whew! What a horrible feeling that was, don't get me wrong I love dogs and everything, but if he had attacked my buns it would've been the end of him right then and there. The idiot neighbor should have had him on a leash. He said that he puts the leash on in the hallway. I told him that is not good enough. He agreed thankfully, so we didn't have to get loud or anything. For some reason I think it is all Fran's fault, I don't know why but I just do.

The Bun Life - How Bunnies Give Every Situation a CPU Rating

No, I am not talking about the kind of CPU rating that people rate computer processors with. I am talking about how domestic bunnies rate every possible situation with one simple rating, the CPU, better known as the Chance that I will get Picked Up rating. This applies to bunnies that hate getting picked up, which is probably 90% or better. There are those rare ones that absolutely love getting picked up and held. My dwarf bunny Sydney LOVES being held, but hates being picked up, which obviously causes some conflict. He runs and hides when I approach the playpen, and I have a whole array of tricks to get him into a position where I can pick him up.

I have used strings to pull cage doors closed from a distance, so he can't run into his hidey box, and many more similar type strategies. I always win, it is just a matter of how hard I am willing to work at picking him up, he knows this, even sometimes when he makes it to his hidey box I keep at it. I will open the cage, disconnect the playpen, clear everything out of his cage until it is just me and him, and he still avoids me by sitting in the far corner. It is the funniest thing ever, I laugh the whole time I am doing it, he is such a stubborn little devil. Yet when I finally pick him up, he licks my hand and just loves to be held, falling asleep in my lap, what a good boy.

That just shows you his natural fear of being picked up. Thus, Sydney gives every situation that involves me an extremely high CPU rating. Same goes for Thumper and Frannie, even if I walk up close and offer a carrot, they always hesitate and approach with caution, if I make any sudden moves they dart away, they give me a high CPU rating as well, they act as if I am the Grim Reaper for god's sake. God forbid I get picked up!!!!! Ohh NOOOOO! I've been picked up!! Ohh the bunanity!

So remember what CPU really means the next time you approach your bunnies.

The Bun Life - Gas Bubble or Stasis?

I went to feed my dwarf bunny Sydney yesterday morning, same time as usual, same way as usual. I noticed that he wasn't running around the enclosure like a wild man as he normally does when I start getting the food ready. I know my rabbits like I know myself, so I notice anything out of place. I put the food down, he was sitting doing his loaf of bread impression as bunnies do, no interest in the food. Ooh, that isn't good. I go get a carrot, nope. I thought maybe he just wasn't hungry, but it was not normal. I decided to pick him up to examine him, as I was carrying him didn't lick my wrist on my left hand, and he ALWAYS does that, every time. I get him on my lap and he wasn't grooming me at all, which is his trademark, his claim to fame, the ultimate groomer.

I feel his stomach and it feels a little bloated. I try to take his temp but there isn't a chance in hell of him letting me. Alone, I just can't manage it without hurting him. So, I give him some simethicone and start doing tummy massages. I actually held him up to my chest on an angle and started kneading his belly. He seemed to like that, so I did it for like an hour. I put him back down. He went into a loaf of bread again. So I let him rest for awhile. A couple hours later, I check on him and he is eating! Great, now he seems fine.

I am just wondering if it was the beginning of stasis and I just caught it, or was it just a gas bubble? Hmm, either way I am glad he is okay of course.

The Bun Life - Fun Fran and the Banana Man

I always thought that Thumps and Fran hated bananas, Thumps I know for a fact does. Which is surprising because you could toss a jock strap in his bowl and he'll probably eat it, but for some reason bananas are a no go with him. For some reason I thought Fran was the same way, evidently I was wrong.

It was a normal evening, Fran getting a drink of water while hanging her ears in it, Thumps under my couch devouring it from the inside out, business as usual. I motion for Fran to come over quietly, I didn't want to alert Thumps, I had a piece of banana and was curious to see if she would take it. She lazily walked over, took the piece of banana, and basically inhaled it like a cigarette! I was like "Ok, guess she does like banana"

Let me tell you, every single time I go anywhere near the refrigerator, she is waiting in angst for the off chance that a piece of banana is coming. I can't get rid of her now, she is like that dog that follows you home from school. Yeah almost just like that, except Fran isn't a dog, plus I am not going to school, plus I wasn't on my way home. okay, maybe it is not like that at all. Who knows anymore, I gotta go out and by 6 barrels of bananas now.

The Bun Life - Bunny Flop Extraordinaire, Thumper Does His "Bunny Getting Shot" Impression (VIDEO)

I thought I had seen Thumper's best flops, but this one was great. Not only was I lucky enough to see it, but I was even more lucky to have gotten it on video. And now, without further delay:

Isn't that hilarious? He is so fat and white and lazy he just makes me laugh when I see the funny things he does. He loves to lay next to Fran and kind of roll onto his side into her. He leans on his big tubby belly and jelly rolls over to her LOL! Too funny Thumps, too funny.

The Bun Life - Frannies Famous Popcorn Binkies (VIDEO)

Every morning when Frannie and Thumps are about to be fed, they start getting crazy and excited. Thumper decides that he now despises Fran's need to eat food, so he does his best to intimidate her. This is a short clip showing Frannie popcorn when charged by Thumps. Also, since I shot this video a while back Thumper has started running underneath her when she popcorns! Almost like a Matador lol:

Tell me that isn't the funniest thing ever! She is so funny Frannie, she does the weirdest things sometimes.

The Bun Life - Thumper and Baby Fwan's Morning Ritual (VIDEO)

Pellets, they are insane for pellets, it is just that simple. Thumps and Fwan are actually way worse now. This video was shot about a year ago or so, now Thumper charges Baby Fwan over and over again and she popcorn binkies over the top of him to avoid being rundown! I will have to get that on new video soon enough. But this is pretty enjoyable to watch anyway. It gets better towards the end.

Right before this video was taken, I got Thumper on video doing a top-o-the-line bunny flop. I will cut it and edit it and post it on here tomorrow.

The Bun Life - My Female Bunny (Frannie) Closeup, Lord Help Us

Well, I had my camera out tonight and was trying to take a couple decent photos of my buns. Of course, they are all masters at making it impossible for me to get any halfway decent photo. I never met bunnies who NEVER stood still continuously for hours on end. Every time I click the snapshot button, I look at the result on the digital screen and I always have a pic of the back of their head or the wall or something useless. Darn wabbits.

This time I tried to take a pic of Baby Fwan in her litter box, and she must have leaned in to inspect the lens at the last second, and then I got the most shocking closeup of any living thing ever! A closeup of Baby Fwan:

Now I always knew Frannie was a mutt, and ugly in a cute sort of way, but oh my Lord Jesus in Heaven. Does my Honey Bunches of Oats really look like this in the light?? Was I drunk when I adopted her?? Good God!

The worst thing I could have done is show this to Frannie also, she got so upset that she bit my big toe nail clean off, peed in my sneakers, and tore up the only in-tact part of the southern couch. (I give the couches map legends now :))

Well, the good news is that Fran has agreed to start waxing 6 days a week, plus I am gonna get a new whisker accessory for the Flowbee.

The Bun Life - Tons of Abandoned Rabbits Rome Free in Florida

I found this article in the NY Times today and I was very depressed after reading it. I work in rabbit rescue, so I know how bad the domestic rabbit situation is, I see it first hand. Every time I go to the rescue, the other volunteers have some new horror story to tell. This one abandoned 5 rabbits here, this one dumped a litter of 7 there, and on and on it goes.

After seeing what people do to each other, it doesn't surprise me to hear what they do to rabbits. It makes me sad to think that those bunnies are probably scared and hungry, and I look at my fat, lazy, ungrateful, over indulgent bunny rabbits here and just sigh. If Thumper and Fran only knew what life could be like for them, maybe they would leave my couch alone.

I was thinking of doing like a field trip with Thumps and Fran, take them to areas where abandoned homeless rabbits live, like they do with city kids by taking them to prison and trying to scare them straight. I could just see Thumps now, looking at the scared bunny rabbits, then asking me "You mean, they don't get fresh garden greens and Evian water EVERY night like we do???"

Spoiled wabbits.

Teasing Bunnies Can Be Fun (ooh am I cruel or what?)

Seriously though, these darn booby rabbits (my new nickname for bunny rabbits) are so demanding, you can't help but tease them every once in a while. Okay, maybe you can, but I certainly can't! Plus, aside from these bunnies, I have absolutely no life, so it can sure beef up a slow night.

One of my favorite things to do is with Baby Fwan, why do I call her that, because I am an idiot okay? Thanks. Moving on, like I was saying, Fran and Thumps love carrots like any other bunny. What I love to do sometimes is put fresh hay in the litterbox, brand new Oxbow Hay or what have you, and then call the troops in to alert them of the new addition. Then, to get rid of Thumper, I give him a carrot and off he goes to hide away and eat. Now, Frannie is sitting right in the litterbox giving me the look as if to say "Ok, where's mine chump??".

Normally, I give it to her, this time, naaa. I just wait for her to accept it and she instantly starts eating the brand new hay. What I do then is wait for her to get a mouthful of hay, then stick the carrot right in front of her mouth to offer it to her. Only problem here, is that she can't grab it right then because she is full of hay. So she starts to chew the hay, in anticipation of getting the carrot when she is done. So, I walk away :) I walk to my room and guess who is right in tow?? Yup, Frannie. She has her best WTF look on her face also.

If she didn't eat the couch that day I will give her the carrot right then, if she did then I might do it again :) I am a heartless bastard, I know, the love has been bred right out of me I guess.

Bunnies Have A Penchant For Chewing Speakerwires & Computer Cables

I work in IT, and from home as well, so my computer equipment is very vital to my day to day living. Thumper, my albino white lop bunny rabbit, doesn't really understand this; actually he even told me point blank that inhaling my wires is one of his "long-term goals". Well, around the time I first brought Thumps home, he made his way past the gate and into my computer room. 10 minutes later I was driving up to the electronics store to buy new PC speakers.

20 minutes and $200.00 after that, I was on my way home with my brand new computer speaker setup. I got them home, hooked them up to my PC and went in the bathroom for a second. Little did I realize that the gate to the computer room didn't close all the way, and Thumps made his way in for a second round of chewing. I exited the bathroom, only to look in horror at what that little ball of claws and fuzz did to my computer BRAND NEW speakers.

I reprimanded Thumps, which worked really well by the way, and then went to the store and acted like I brought the box home and I found the speakers chewed up. They didn't believe me, but I didn't care; no way was I laying out another few hundred bucks for a new stereo system. I eventually got yet another replacement system and amazingly Thumper got in the room again after I hooked them up and destroyed....just kidding, there was no third time. I had learned a valuable lesson: if thou ever shall be faced with hardship or obstacles, just lie and cheat your way through it, things will be alright.

I think Freud said that right? Maybe it was Bill Cosby instead, whatever.

Frannie Hangs Her Ears in the Water

I just noticed it the other day, Frannie walks over to get a drink from her water bowl and while she drinks she lets her floppy ears hang down in the water. Wonder if she does this on purpose, or is just too lazy and spoiled to so much as lift her ears out of the water when drinking. Bunnies have so many peculiar character traits, it is amazing. Everything from the way they communicate with each other, as well as with us humans, is very subtle. The longer you have them, the more little things you notice.

Case in point, I noticed the other day how it is perfectly acceptable for Thumps to walk away from Frannie after getting groomed. However, if Frannie should try to ditch Thumps after being groomed, he gives a loud thump and charges her until she turns around and reciprocates the gesture. Not a bad system, humans should use it also, it would makes things a lot smoother in the bedrooms of married couples wouldn't you say? Well, at least for us men anyway :)

The Hotel - Bunny Paradise

When I first got Thumper, he wasn't 'fixed' yet, so of course he was kinda crazy. The first thing he would do when you let him out of his cage, was run about 9000 circles around you. After a few hours of this, he would then grab his furry ball that we bought for him, and hump away for another hour. While this made for great entertainment, I couldn't help feel like we were invading Thumper's privacy.

Don't get me wrong, I know the Patriot Act made things like this legal, but the least I could do was give Thumps some 'time to himself' if you know what I mean. Then I discovered how much bunnies love cardboard boxes, how cutting holes in boxes and turning them upside down can make a great little hideaway for a bunny. So I did just that, I made a pretty good sized box for him, and I called it his 'Hotel'. Little did I know that Thumper would go on to treat it more like a motel.

I had company over for dinner, Thumper was eager to get out of his cage (wasn't free range then) so i decided to let him out for a little while. He runs out, grabs his little humping ball, then proceeds to head right for the hotel. He drags himself and the humping ball into the hotel, and then starts pounding away. The whole time he is doing this, the hotel is shaking like crazy, looking like an earthquake was tearing his hotel down.

We all laughed so hard for about an hour, boy he had us in stitches. When he stopped he came out of the hotel, did a little binky, then went and laid down. I was gonna offer him a cigarette but I decided against it. That was the time I decided he needed to be neutered right away.

Bun Life Intro - Third Time's a Charm (yeah right)

Well maybe it was a charm, because I was about to bring in my 4th bunny, and complete the sacred Circle of Aggravation, I mean Life. I wanted to find a partner for Sydney, aka Squibbles, aka The Nut, aka Absolute Psychotic Bunny Wabbit. I brought him to the rescue to see if we could try some potential mates out. After quite a few, all of which Squibbles tussled with, we brought in Fuzzy; another Dwarf gray colored rabbit. She is the epitome of "Dwarf", believe it:

Fuzzy, is now named Fuzzby. I was watching Court TV the night I got her and I saw a case about a guy who without a doubt killed his wife, but he was blaming it on some guy named Danny Buzzby (spelling??). I was thinking of a new name for my microscopic rabbit, and I decided on mixing Fuzzy with Buzzby, and out came the name Fuzzby.

Fuzzby is the quiet soul of the group, and she has had a little bit of a respiratory ailment (pseudamonis) since I brought her home. She is on meds (Zithro) and hopefully will be able to get rid of it, although the Doc says she might have it forever since she is an older bun.

So until she gets better, no bonding with The Nut. Now instead of the originally intended 2 bonded pairs, I now have a pair and two singles. What a setup. You wouldn't believe the things that go on here, and you haven't even really "met" Frannie and Thumps yet, not really anyway, wait until that happens. You will see just how demanding bunnies can be.

Bun Life Intro - Part Dooh

Ok, back again. So it was me, Baby Fwan, LT, and my ghetto ass couch; all in a cozy one bedroom apartment. Mind you, I work from home, so we spend a LOT of time together, so there is no set it and forget it with these bunny rabbits. After a while, I started volunteering for the Long Island Rabbit Rescue, where I adopted Frannie from. They are my new best friends, and some the best people you will ever meet, wabbits or no wabbits.

So, the best way to help out a bunny rescue is to help clean the rescue and the rabbits living quarters, this is the dirty part of rescue. Rabbits, in case you didn't know, can easily be litter trained and their poops normally come out hard and pellet like. Very easy to clean up, as long as they don't have a digestive ailment which makes their poops soft, then you're in for a real treat, NOT!

I show up every week, once a week, to clean the rescue (essentially a basement in the home of one of the rescue's founding members) and I live pretty far away so once a week is all I can really swing, with my job and all. One week, I come in for my shift, and see this little angel of a Netherland Dwarf bunny rabbit sitting in one of our cages, just staring at me. He knew this was his shot, and he brought his A game, believe you me. His name tag read "Doc" but I thought that name sucked, especially since we refer to our favorite vet as "Doc". I brought him home and named him Sydney, he is the baby of the family:

Sydney The Terrible

Cute huh? As a button. Looks sweet huh? Sure does. Probably the gentlest little guy in the whole wide world right? Not a chance. See how those ears are tucked back? That is not for cuteness effect, that is his attempt to make himself as aerodynamic as possible, so when he charges your ankles he can fly through the air at top speed!

Sydney, loves being held, and is the gentlest most affectionate bunny I have ever "held". Only problem is that he hates being picked up, or when you come near his cage on foot, or when you reach in his cage for him, or if you happen to be breathing or existing within 9 miles of his cage. The trick is to pick him up without giving him the opportunity to shred you in pieces first. If you can do that, you will be holding the sweetest bunny in the world, who will groom your arm and fall asleep in your lap for hours. Just don't put him down, EVER!

Bun Life Intro

My name is Jim and I am crazy about bunnies! Seriously, I love bunnies more than you will ever know, or actually you might know soon enough. I got my first bunny a few years ago, his name is Thumper (real original name I know) and he took over my life since that very first day. He now must be referred to only as "Lord Thumper", which is ridiculous I know, but if I don't use that name he will make my life a living hell. In case you're wondering, this is Lord Thumper:

Lord Thumper Bunny Rabbit

You don't have to tell me how idiotic he looks with that stupid crown on his head, I know believe me. Once I got LT, I wanted to find him a bonded bunny partner, a girlfriend of sorts. Well, I called around, met this wonderful group of people The Long Island Rabbit Rescue Group, and that was when I adopted my second bunny rabbit...Francesca, aka Frannie, aka Baby Fwan, aka Fwibbety Fwan Fwan, and I could go on all night. Anyway, here is Frannie:

Fwannie Bunny Rabbit
Needless to say, she is a real head turner, and she just happens to be my soul mate. Too bad Fran doesn't really reciprocate those feelings, well she does to Thumper anyway. I do know for a fact that Frannie loves at least one thing unconditionally, and here is a picture of it, or at least what is left of it:
My beautiful ex-couch, when I moved in to this new apartment with my new couch and my new bunny rabbits, I felt I guess. Not anymore, Baby Fwan has eaten my couch, and now she and Thumps live under the couch, taking up residence in the wooden cove between the two reclining seats.