The Bun Life - Back On The Scene, Nah Mean?

Okay, okay, you don't have to yell! I know, I'm sorry about not posting for a bit, but if you knew why I didn't then I am sure you will not only forgive me, but be empathetic for my situation. Now, I hate when people make up some B.S. story to avoid having to admit their irresponsible behavior, so you will NEVER get that from me. We are friends, and I don't lie to my friends.

With that said, I can tell you what is going on. The amazing truth is that me, Fran, Thumper, Sydney, and a Wild Bore (don't ask) were abducted by Aliens. Please, I know it sounds ridiculous, but it is 100% true. I swear on my children's grave!! Or is it "graves?" What if I bury them together, in the same grave? How about childrens' "graveii?" I don't think just because I don't have children that I can't swear on them. Anyway, back to the stor...I mean account of what happened.

I was sitting at home, with the buns, and all of a sudden we found ourselves inside an Alien spacecraft, naked! Well, I was naked anyway. How embarrassing! Just like the dream I use to have about going to school but forgetting to get dressed! We were held in the ship for the whole time, subjected to horrific experiments. We were beamed back early because of good behavior, and now we are BACK!

Okay, now for the experience that I had this morning which made me post again. In my parents' housing community, for the last 3 years there has been a rumor of a jet black straight-eared bunny hopping around here. We are on the Eastern tip of LI, so lots of grass, deer, and farms, and rabbits. Black bunny means domestic bunny though, an ABANDONED domestic bunny most likely. I didn't think the rumors were true because of everything I've learned.

Then, a neighbor of my parents told them that he had seen the phantom bunny around the other day, but this time he wasn't alone. They said that he has made a friend, and it was a wild cottontail bunny. He said they seemed "inseparable". Bonded? Really? Wild and Domestic? I seriously doubted the details of the sighting. This morning, I was driving out of the community, a week earlier I started bringing the camera with me everywhere in case I spotted the ghost bunny, and I got lucky. The domestic bunny, who I named "Bun In Black" was indeed a real bun, and I love how when he saw me in the car he turned his head and looked at me, ears pointed up and the nose wiggling away, lol. The truth is, the battery was dead in the camera from sitting there, and they played and jumped over one another for about 20 minutes. I will get another chance I hope, anyway here is the 27 seconds of video I got:

Now tell me, do you see a frightened, starved bunny? No, quite the contrary actually, he seems happy as can be. This is very unusual, because most perish quickly, but this guy has the "hood on lock".

The Bun Life - Certified Nail Clipper

It's been a bit since my last post, been pretty busy with work, etc. Also, I don't just blog for the sake of blogging, either. Some bloggers resort to telling people all the mundane details of their lives, as if everyone wants to hear how little Johnny pissed in the closet for the last 2 months while sleepwalking, or the progress of Josefina's root canal therapy.

Yesterday was the dreaded "nail clipping" day, which I am sure all of you bunny people just love, right? Wrong. I must say though, I am proud of being able to clip all of their nails, when I first got a bunny I couldn't even envision being able to handle a bunny that well. After years of training, I have finally completed Bunny Nail Clipping school. I received my diploma and certificate in the mail today. Here, I scanned it for you, so you can look at it, click on the pic to bring up a larger version.

Neat huh? I even got a lifetime supply of styptic powder as a parting gift. You should see me now, I am a real pro at clipping. Seriously though, for those of you not yet efficient at clipping your rabbits' nails, maybe the following pointers will help you:

Update 9/24/11

I just wanted to add a note here about what Styptic Powder is, just in case anyone reading this doesn't know. In the store, it looks like this:

Styptic Powder is what's known as an Anti-hemorrhagic (or hemostatic), which means it assists the body in stopping or slowing the bleeding from an open wound. It does this by various mechanisms, from promoting coagulation, increasing tissue contraction, to increasing platelet stickiness in the surrounding area. Sounds really healthy huh? Don't worry, it is virtually harmless when used according to instructions. It can be used on your bunny if you accidentally clip the nail's wick, which will start bleeding when cut. Don't misunderstand me, if you've clipped the wick, you've made a mistake. It is painful for the bunny. To put it in perspective for you, how painful do you think it would be if I pulled your tooth's root out far enough where I could then clip it with a pair of cutters, without Novocaine? Yeah, it'd probably sting a little I bet. So, do your best to spot the end of the wick and cut over it. If you can't see it, have someone else look, if you absolutely must cut because the nails are exceedingly long, then leave extra room above where you think you should cut, to be as safe as possible.

• Relax. Your bunny is naturally paranoid about everything to begin with, they can sense your apprehension, and most likely they will jerk back right as you are about to clip the nail. Try to be confident, or at least fake it as good as possible, believe me.. it makes a big difference.
• Let There Be Light. Since your bunny's comfort largely depends on you missing the wick of the nail, it is vital that you give yourself enough light so that you can spot the end of the wick. This is even more important with dark nails. Aside from room light, I keep a mini flashlight nearby, so I can get up close to the nail if need be.
• Don't rush. I never rush it anymore, I put the bunny up on the counter, and then I spend about 10 minutes petting them, scratch behind the ears, etc. They begin to relax, then I begin the nail trimming. I try to make the experience start and end on a good note.
• The hind legs, or hocks, are the most stressful for the bunny. They use their front paws to manipulate their surroundings all the time, but they do very little with the hocks other than move and scratch. So, they simply aren't used to having their hocks touched, let alone clipped. My trick is to wait until I do the front paws, then I pet the top of the hocks, just like I would when petting them on the head. Most will jump at first, but that is okay, the more you do it, the more accepting they will be of it. This works great for me.
• You're In Charge. You have to be persistent as heck with some bunnies, Thumper is a perfect example. I lift his leg to cut the nail, he pulls away, so I do it again, and he pulls away, then I keep doing it until he resolves to himself that he won't be done until I am able to clip the nail, then he relents. Frannie doesn't mind being clipped at all really, she is great with that. Sydney is tough but he is a lot smaller so he is easier to keep still.
• No Frills Kills. A nail trimmer for a rabbit must be of good quality, and sharp. Otherwise you will be crushing the nail instead of cutting it, which is very painful for the bunny. The nails can splinter and hurt the bunny, as well as infection of the wound. Get a quality trimmer, and keep it sharp, your bunny will appreciate it.
• Water. I keep a glass of warm water nearby, so I can dip my fingers into it and just wet the little bit of fur around the nail, which gives you a better view, and less of a chance to clip hair along with the nail, which is painful.

The more you practice doing the nails, the easier it will be. Don't resign to the fact that you can't clip them yourself, because you can. Best of luck!

The Bun Life - When New Bunny Becomes Old Hat

Bunnies are like children. When you first get them, everything they do is new and exciting, then you spend the remainder of their life wishing you never had them. Whether it is asking for the car keys on a Friday night, or turning your couch into the latest construction (demolition actually) project, a pain in the @ss is a pain in the @ss, no matter how you slice it.

Seriously though, I noticed today that I am always hurrying to do this or that, and am preoccupied with a million other things. I reminded myself today that neither we or bunnies are here indefinitely. Don't get me wrong, I love my rabbits like they were my children (eww, not the best analogy after me trash talking children above huh?). Their presence is such a stable, permanent part of my daily life that I could feed them and clean their litter boxes without even realizing what I am doing, second nature like.

So I am going to do one new thing for my rabbits today, I'll build a new cardboard fort for them, just something different than the other one. I know they love to explore new stuff, and they deserve the attention because they have definitely affected my life in a very positive way. I urge all of you to do the same, do something new for your bunnies today, or tomorrow, or the next day.

You might try taking a cardboard box and put magazines and paper in there. I did this for Frannie and Thumper and they loved it, they were digging in that thing the whole night. I could've sworn I even saw a utility lamp hanging above so they could work throughout the night. I can't prove it, but it was real to me! However, somehow Thumper came along with his one brain cell and mistook the new play box for a litter box. That was the end of that :)

I got the idea originally from a forum member who was trying to stop her bunny from digging to China in her living room or anywhere else he went. She created the box of magazines and paper and he never dug anywhere else after that, pretty cool. I also notice that a new toy or activity livens up the bunnies, even though they love routine and stuff not changing.

The Bun Life - Ouch!

Poor Sydney, he tore his whole nail out on one of his paws. I saw some blood so I got really worried for a min, but then was glad it was only a nail. Don't get me wrong, I know that hurts like a son of a gun. I sat him on counter, wrapped it until it stopped bleeding. Took about 10 minutes, he seems 100% again. It will grow back, I just hate to see animals in pain, especially rabbits, especially MY rabbits. I love how I am there to help all three of them whenever they need something, but they would slit my throat in a heartbeat if I came in between their food or hay. All give and no take, not fair!

The Bun Life – Adventures of Bun Life Buns, Installment One

I am sure you always wondered what your bunnies would say if they could speak to you or one another in English, right? Well, either way, I have quite a few thoughts on how their conversations would flesh out, so without further a due, I present The Adventures of Bun Life Buns Installment One:

BF=Baby Fwan, TR= Thumper

BF: “Hey Thumps, over here you idiot! No, not over there, OVER HERE. I can’t believe this, how can you not find me when we are in the same room together?”

TR: “Duh, well, I am tracking your voice, not looking for you visually as much. Still can’t find you, let me try this – MARCO!”

BF: “Oh god, how stupid. …POLO!”

TR: “MARCO!”

BF: “POLO! For Pete’s sake! I see you, I am directly to your left!”

TR: “Where? I don’t see you at all. MARCO!!”

BF: “Your LEFT, not RIGHT! Your other side!”

TR: “Oh, hey, now I see you. MARCO!”

BF: “Stop saying MARCO, you found me already.”

TR: “Okay, gees, talk about grumpy. I swear, all you pumpernickel women have zero patience.”

BF: “Well, it is better than having zero of everything else, like you.”

TR: “Whatever, lets spoon over here in front of the TV, this way we can watch each other’s backs, in case Jim tries to pick us up or something.”

BF: “Okay.”

--------- 2 Hours Pass ----------

BF: “Thumps, wake up, let’s switch positions, the carpet is practically roasting my belly.”

TR: “Duhh, fine I guess. Hey you feel like chewing up anything of Jim’s? Maybe some computer or speaker wires maybe?”

BF: “No, you know I have my Picker Upper’s Anonymous meeting tonight, so why are you even asking? Wait, I take that back, you’re stupid so it makes perfect sense that you forgot already.”

TR: “Whatever. How is that going by the way? Get your 7-day chip tonight?”

BF: “Yeah, been a whole 7 days since I was last picked up, I am hesitant to celebrate, since this is my 60^th 7-day chip. Oh well, I’ll make the most of it.”

TR: “Listen, you should be proud, you can’t help it if Jim or someone else picks you up really. Well, you can, but if they get to pick you up after a chase, then you’ve done your best and should leave it up to your higher power.”

BF: “Higher power? Who would that be, the House Rabbit Society, or the Bunny Buddha?”

TR: “Whoever you want to believe it is, it is imperative that you believe your own bullshit brainwashing, so that you can heal.”

BF: “Okay, enough already, can we talk about something else please? How is the renovation under the couch going, making good progress?”

TR: “Not a whole lot, we can only run the power tools when Jim is asleep or not home, so chances have been minimal. We did get 90% of the stuffing underneath removed.”

BF: “Now you know that was my doing, stop trying to take credit for it.”

TR: “We have agreed on a cease-fire with El Lunatico in the other room though, I am trying to create a good rapport with him, but it is slow going. He is such a psycho that I have trouble even having a civilized conversation with him. I swear, as soon as I walk up to the gate, he starts charging and showing his teeth. I tell you, even though he weighs only 3 ounces, he is a brave little SOB. He don’t scare me though, he has no idea I won three consecutive Golden Paws titles when I was in the service.”

BF: “Service?”

TR: “Yeah, I was a member of the Bunny Brigades back in ’73, but I don’t like to talk about it.”

BF: “God, you are such a numbskull, and now a pathological liar on top of it. Man, if Jim only knew how big of a contrast there is between your fluffy white coat and your horrible character. Sometimes I don’t know why we even got bonded.”

TR: “You have no idea how much that day meant to me though. What day was that again?”

…To Be Continued  

The Bun Life - Bunny Flop Extraordinaire, Thumper Does His "Bunny Getting Shot" Impression (VIDEO)

I thought I had seen Thumper's best flops, but this one was great. Not only was I lucky enough to see it, but I was even more lucky to have gotten it on video. And now, without further delay:

Isn't that hilarious? He is so fat and white and lazy he just makes me laugh when I see the funny things he does. He loves to lay next to Fran and kind of roll onto his side into her. He leans on his big tubby belly and jelly rolls over to her LOL! Too funny Thumps, too funny.

The Bun Life - Thumper and Baby Fwan's Morning Ritual (VIDEO)

Pellets, they are insane for pellets, it is just that simple. Thumps and Fwan are actually way worse now. This video was shot about a year ago or so, now Thumper charges Baby Fwan over and over again and she popcorn binkies over the top of him to avoid being rundown! I will have to get that on new video soon enough. But this is pretty enjoyable to watch anyway. It gets better towards the end.

Right before this video was taken, I got Thumper on video doing a top-o-the-line bunny flop. I will cut it and edit it and post it on here tomorrow.

The Bun Life - My Female Bunny (Frannie) Closeup, Lord Help Us

Well, I had my camera out tonight and was trying to take a couple decent photos of my buns. Of course, they are all masters at making it impossible for me to get any halfway decent photo. I never met bunnies who NEVER stood still continuously for hours on end. Every time I click the snapshot button, I look at the result on the digital screen and I always have a pic of the back of their head or the wall or something useless. Darn wabbits.

This time I tried to take a pic of Baby Fwan in her litter box, and she must have leaned in to inspect the lens at the last second, and then I got the most shocking closeup of any living thing ever! A closeup of Baby Fwan:

Now I always knew Frannie was a mutt, and ugly in a cute sort of way, but oh my Lord Jesus in Heaven. Does my Honey Bunches of Oats really look like this in the light?? Was I drunk when I adopted her?? Good God!

The worst thing I could have done is show this to Frannie also, she got so upset that she bit my big toe nail clean off, peed in my sneakers, and tore up the only in-tact part of the southern couch. (I give the couches map legends now :))

Well, the good news is that Fran has agreed to start waxing 6 days a week, plus I am gonna get a new whisker accessory for the Flowbee.

The Bun Life - Tons of Abandoned Rabbits Rome Free in Florida

I found this article in the NY Times today and I was very depressed after reading it. I work in rabbit rescue, so I know how bad the domestic rabbit situation is, I see it first hand. Every time I go to the rescue, the other volunteers have some new horror story to tell. This one abandoned 5 rabbits here, this one dumped a litter of 7 there, and on and on it goes.

After seeing what people do to each other, it doesn't surprise me to hear what they do to rabbits. It makes me sad to think that those bunnies are probably scared and hungry, and I look at my fat, lazy, ungrateful, over indulgent bunny rabbits here and just sigh. If Thumper and Fran only knew what life could be like for them, maybe they would leave my couch alone.

I was thinking of doing like a field trip with Thumps and Fran, take them to areas where abandoned homeless rabbits live, like they do with city kids by taking them to prison and trying to scare them straight. I could just see Thumps now, looking at the scared bunny rabbits, then asking me "You mean, they don't get fresh garden greens and Evian water EVERY night like we do???"

Spoiled wabbits.

Teasing Bunnies Can Be Fun (ooh am I cruel or what?)

Seriously though, these darn booby rabbits (my new nickname for bunny rabbits) are so demanding, you can't help but tease them every once in a while. Okay, maybe you can, but I certainly can't! Plus, aside from these bunnies, I have absolutely no life, so it can sure beef up a slow night.

One of my favorite things to do is with Baby Fwan, why do I call her that, because I am an idiot okay? Thanks. Moving on, like I was saying, Fran and Thumps love carrots like any other bunny. What I love to do sometimes is put fresh hay in the litterbox, brand new Oxbow Hay or what have you, and then call the troops in to alert them of the new addition. Then, to get rid of Thumper, I give him a carrot and off he goes to hide away and eat. Now, Frannie is sitting right in the litterbox giving me the look as if to say "Ok, where's mine chump??".

Normally, I give it to her, this time, naaa. I just wait for her to accept it and she instantly starts eating the brand new hay. What I do then is wait for her to get a mouthful of hay, then stick the carrot right in front of her mouth to offer it to her. Only problem here, is that she can't grab it right then because she is full of hay. So she starts to chew the hay, in anticipation of getting the carrot when she is done. So, I walk away :) I walk to my room and guess who is right in tow?? Yup, Frannie. She has her best WTF look on her face also.

If she didn't eat the couch that day I will give her the carrot right then, if she did then I might do it again :) I am a heartless bastard, I know, the love has been bred right out of me I guess.

Bunnies Have A Penchant For Chewing Speakerwires & Computer Cables

I work in IT, and from home as well, so my computer equipment is very vital to my day to day living. Thumper, my albino white lop bunny rabbit, doesn't really understand this; actually he even told me point blank that inhaling my wires is one of his "long-term goals". Well, around the time I first brought Thumps home, he made his way past the gate and into my computer room. 10 minutes later I was driving up to the electronics store to buy new PC speakers.

20 minutes and $200.00 after that, I was on my way home with my brand new computer speaker setup. I got them home, hooked them up to my PC and went in the bathroom for a second. Little did I realize that the gate to the computer room didn't close all the way, and Thumps made his way in for a second round of chewing. I exited the bathroom, only to look in horror at what that little ball of claws and fuzz did to my computer speakers...my BRAND NEW speakers.

I reprimanded Thumps, which worked really well by the way, and then went to the store and acted like I brought the box home and I found the speakers chewed up. They didn't believe me, but I didn't care; no way was I laying out another few hundred bucks for a new stereo system. I eventually got yet another replacement system and amazingly Thumper got in the room again after I hooked them up and destroyed....just kidding, there was no third time. I had learned a valuable lesson: if thou ever shall be faced with hardship or obstacles, just lie and cheat your way through it, things will be alright.

I think Freud said that right? Maybe it was Bill Cosby instead, whatever.

Frannie Hangs Her Ears in the Water

I just noticed it the other day, Frannie walks over to get a drink from her water bowl and while she drinks she lets her floppy ears hang down in the water. Wonder if she does this on purpose, or is just too lazy and spoiled to so much as lift her ears out of the water when drinking. Bunnies have so many peculiar character traits, it is amazing. Everything from the way they communicate with each other, as well as with us humans, is very subtle. The longer you have them, the more little things you notice.

Case in point, I noticed the other day how it is perfectly acceptable for Thumps to walk away from Frannie after getting groomed. However, if Frannie should try to ditch Thumps after being groomed, he gives a loud thump and charges her until she turns around and reciprocates the gesture. Not a bad system, humans should use it also, it would makes things a lot smoother in the bedrooms of married couples wouldn't you say? Well, at least for us men anyway :)

Bun Life Intro - Part Dooh

Ok, back again. So it was me, Baby Fwan, LT, and my ghetto ass couch; all in a cozy one bedroom apartment. Mind you, I work from home, so we spend a LOT of time together, so there is no set it and forget it with these bunny rabbits. After a while, I started volunteering for the Long Island Rabbit Rescue, where I adopted Frannie from. They are my new best friends, and some the best people you will ever meet, wabbits or no wabbits.

So, the best way to help out a bunny rescue is to help clean the rescue and the rabbits living quarters, this is the dirty part of rescue. Rabbits, in case you didn't know, can easily be litter trained and their poops normally come out hard and pellet like. Very easy to clean up, as long as they don't have a digestive ailment which makes their poops soft, then you're in for a real treat, NOT!

I show up every week, once a week, to clean the rescue (essentially a basement in the home of one of the rescue's founding members) and I live pretty far away so once a week is all I can really swing, with my job and all. One week, I come in for my shift, and see this little angel of a Netherland Dwarf bunny rabbit sitting in one of our cages, just staring at me. He knew this was his shot, and he brought his A game, believe you me. His name tag read "Doc" but I thought that name sucked, especially since we refer to our favorite vet as "Doc". I brought him home and named him Sydney, he is the baby of the family:

Cute huh? As a button. Looks sweet huh? Sure does. Probably the gentlest little guy in the whole wide world right? Not a chance. See how those ears are tucked back? That is not for cuteness effect, that is his attempt to make himself as aerodynamic as possible, so when he charges your ankles he can fly through the air at top speed!

Sydney, loves being held, and is the gentlest most affectionate bunny I have ever "held". Only problem is that he hates being picked up, or when you come near his cage on foot, or when you reach in his cage for him, or if you happen to be breathing or existing within 9 miles of his cage. The trick is to pick him up without giving him the opportunity to shred you in pieces first. If you can do that, you will be holding the sweetest bunny in the world, who will groom your arm and fall asleep in your lap for hours. Just don't put him down, EVER!