The Bun Life - Bunnies on Strike??

I couldn't believe it, this letter from the bunnies was on my desk this morning. From what it says, they are now on strike I guess, how the hell is that even possible? Well, lets read the letter and see if we can find out what's going on.

Dear Jim,

Me and Thumper thought that we could settle things amicably with you, evidently that is not possible. Both of us (who cares about the other 2 bunnies) are fed up with the treatment we have received while remaining in your care, we have no choice but to go on strike until our demands are met, and if you don't comply within 72 hours we will be getting an official divorce from you. I am hoping the rescue will at least let us sleep on the couch for a few nights, or under the couch would be better :)

You have violated our bunny rights and our personal space in the following horrendous ways, we demand that you cease and desist all of the following behavior:


  • You have picked me up on multiple occasions to hug me and pet me, even after my constant efforts to dodge this behavior, you still persisted. This is unacceptable, don't you know that we hate to be picked up? We have night terrors about being picked up for hours on end, also we have ones where our teeth fall out or we go to school naked, but that is irrelevant.
  • On at least 3 different days over the last month, you have been up to 15 minutes late with our morning pellets. We have a routine Jim, can't you respect that?
  • You have been cheating on us. Don't try and deny it, we smell the rescue bunnies on your pant legs sometimes. How dare you clean the litterbox of another woman, I mean female bunny?
  • You and Fuzzy have been smoking pot, DON'T DENY IT! I see you sitting with her while both of you take bong hits from that motorized bong. Why do you guys call it "The Nebulizer" anyway?
  • The couch is terribly low on stuffing, where the hell did it go anyway??
  • Clipping my nails, I can't believe you did this to me. Do I clip your nails? No. Do I run up and pick you up and call you idiotic names like Baby Jim, or Jimesca, or Mrs. Jim Jim???? No. So don't do it to me, or us rather.
  • You constantly make fun of my bionic ears, and comment on my weight, and EVEN sometimes how UGLY I am!! Who are you, Fabio?? Let me tell you, if I was a human and I looked like you, I would still hide under the couch all day! I can't help it if my ears have a mind of their own, and my weight has always fluctuated, ever since I went on that Shit-Fast protein shake diet. Man, that was rough.
  • You always insist on placing a fence around the TV, this is very annoying, we have been dying to get back there and chew all the wires, so you need to remove this at once. Your lucky I fell asleep on the cable box or else I would have decimated your home theater experience. 
This just scratches the surface, Thumper had a few things he wanted to add but who cares about his minor grievances. Like we said, you have 3 days to decide, I have the Bunderground Railroad on standby, so let me know.

Regretfully Yours,

Fran (and Thumps)


Wow! Frannie sounds upset, I never knew that she could write English so well. I have a lot to think about over the next few days I guess.

4 comments:

  1. Tsk,TSk sounds like someone is in trouble. Well let me just tell you bunnies you are lucky so stop complaining.
    Being picked up-we know you hate it but sometimes it is essential to our state of mind.
    late with pellets-Weeeell, no good excuses there.
    cheating-yes we do smell like other buns sometimes but you guys are the lucky ones. You have a forever home.
    Nebulizer-maybe yes, maybe no
    couch-at least you get to sit on it.
    nail trims-every pulled one of those babies out by accident? It hurts.
    making fun-oh, you know you do it to us. all the time
    fence around the tv-deal with it.
    You guys are lucky lucky buns so stop fussing.

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  2. It's so funny, even when Frannie lays down in the living room, she is always keeping an eye on me to make sure I don't sneak up on her and pick her up! lol. I always manage to get her though, and I pet her and give her carrot, so not exactly torture I don't think :)

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  3. From the Law Office of Pursley, Pellits and Hayes
    C. Aubrey O'Hare, Esq. (aka "Chompers")

    RE: Fran vs Jim

    Dear Fran,
    After reviewing the list of grievances you have presented against "Jim", this firm would be most pleased to represent you in your divorce proceedings. We here at the Law Firm of Pursley, Pellits and Hayes are appalled by the annoying treatment at the hands of "Jim" and we praise your restraint and modest behavior. We take great umbrage at the slurs sallied against us 'large frame' (or 'big bone') bunnies. We can't all be like those petite dwarfs who can eat anything and keep fashionably thin. Here are a few tips for "Pick Up Prevention" until a Pick Up Restraining Order can be obtained. I am sure we can urge the Court to a most efficacious solution and/or settlement, say somewhere in the range of 300 bushels of carrots and 500 lbs. of hay annually, as well as unlimited credit to the epicurean eatery of your choice.

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