The Bun Life - How Bunnies Give Every Situation a CPU Rating

No, I am not talking about the kind of CPU rating that people rate computer processors with. I am talking about how domestic bunnies rate every possible situation with one simple rating, the CPU, better known as the Chance that I will get Picked Up rating. This applies to bunnies that hate getting picked up, which is probably 90% or better. There are those rare ones that absolutely love getting picked up and held. My dwarf bunny Sydney LOVES being held, but hates being picked up, which obviously causes some conflict. He runs and hides when I approach the playpen, and I have a whole array of tricks to get him into a position where I can pick him up.

I have used strings to pull cage doors closed from a distance, so he can't run into his hidey box, and many more similar type strategies. I always win, it is just a matter of how hard I am willing to work at picking him up, he knows this, even sometimes when he makes it to his hidey box I keep at it. I will open the cage, disconnect the playpen, clear everything out of his cage until it is just me and him, and he still avoids me by sitting in the far corner. It is the funniest thing ever, I laugh the whole time I am doing it, he is such a stubborn little devil. Yet when I finally pick him up, he licks my hand and just loves to be held, falling asleep in my lap, what a good boy.

That just shows you his natural fear of being picked up. Thus, Sydney gives every situation that involves me an extremely high CPU rating. Same goes for Thumper and Frannie, even if I walk up close and offer a carrot, they always hesitate and approach with caution, if I make any sudden moves they dart away, they give me a high CPU rating as well, they act as if I am the Grim Reaper for god's sake. God forbid I get picked up!!!!! Ohh NOOOOO! I've been picked up!! Ohh the bunanity!

So remember what CPU really means the next time you approach your bunnies.

The Bun Life - Gas Bubble or Stasis?

I went to feed my dwarf bunny Sydney yesterday morning, same time as usual, same way as usual. I noticed that he wasn't running around the enclosure like a wild man as he normally does when I start getting the food ready. I know my rabbits like I know myself, so I notice anything out of place. I put the food down, he was sitting doing his loaf of bread impression as bunnies do, no interest in the food. Ooh, that isn't good. I go get a carrot, nope. I thought maybe he just wasn't hungry, but it was not normal. I decided to pick him up to examine him, as I was carrying him didn't lick my wrist on my left hand, and he ALWAYS does that, every time. I get him on my lap and he wasn't grooming me at all, which is his trademark, his claim to fame, the ultimate groomer.

I feel his stomach and it feels a little bloated. I try to take his temp but there isn't a chance in hell of him letting me. Alone, I just can't manage it without hurting him. So, I give him some simethicone and start doing tummy massages. I actually held him up to my chest on an angle and started kneading his belly. He seemed to like that, so I did it for like an hour. I put him back down. He went into a loaf of bread again. So I let him rest for awhile. A couple hours later, I check on him and he is eating! Great, now he seems fine.

I am just wondering if it was the beginning of stasis and I just caught it, or was it just a gas bubble? Hmm, either way I am glad he is okay of course.

The Bun Life - Fun Fran and the Banana Man

I always thought that Thumps and Fran hated bananas, Thumps I know for a fact does. Which is surprising because you could toss a jock strap in his bowl and he'll probably eat it, but for some reason bananas are a no go with him. For some reason I thought Fran was the same way, evidently I was wrong.

It was a normal evening, Fran getting a drink of water while hanging her ears in it, Thumps under my couch devouring it from the inside out, business as usual. I motion for Fran to come over quietly, I didn't want to alert Thumps, I had a piece of banana and was curious to see if she would take it. She lazily walked over, took the piece of banana, and basically inhaled it like a cigarette! I was like "Ok, guess she does like banana"

Let me tell you, every single time I go anywhere near the refrigerator, she is waiting in angst for the off chance that a piece of banana is coming. I can't get rid of her now, she is like that dog that follows you home from school. Yeah almost just like that, except Fran isn't a dog, plus I am not going to school, plus I wasn't on my way home. okay, maybe it is not like that at all. Who knows anymore, I gotta go out and by 6 barrels of bananas now.

The Bun Life - Bunny Flop Extraordinaire, Thumper Does His "Bunny Getting Shot" Impression (VIDEO)

I thought I had seen Thumper's best flops, but this one was great. Not only was I lucky enough to see it, but I was even more lucky to have gotten it on video. And now, without further delay:

Isn't that hilarious? He is so fat and white and lazy he just makes me laugh when I see the funny things he does. He loves to lay next to Fran and kind of roll onto his side into her. He leans on his big tubby belly and jelly rolls over to her LOL! Too funny Thumps, too funny.

The Bun Life - Frannies Famous Popcorn Binkies (VIDEO)

Every morning when Frannie and Thumps are about to be fed, they start getting crazy and excited. Thumper decides that he now despises Fran's need to eat food, so he does his best to intimidate her. This is a short clip showing Frannie popcorn when charged by Thumps. Also, since I shot this video a while back Thumper has started running underneath her when she popcorns! Almost like a Matador lol:

Tell me that isn't the funniest thing ever! She is so funny Frannie, she does the weirdest things sometimes.

The Bun Life - Thumper and Baby Fwan's Morning Ritual (VIDEO)

Pellets, they are insane for pellets, it is just that simple. Thumps and Fwan are actually way worse now. This video was shot about a year ago or so, now Thumper charges Baby Fwan over and over again and she popcorn binkies over the top of him to avoid being rundown! I will have to get that on new video soon enough. But this is pretty enjoyable to watch anyway. It gets better towards the end.

Right before this video was taken, I got Thumper on video doing a top-o-the-line bunny flop. I will cut it and edit it and post it on here tomorrow.

The Bun Life - My Female Bunny (Frannie) Closeup, Lord Help Us

Well, I had my camera out tonight and was trying to take a couple decent photos of my buns. Of course, they are all masters at making it impossible for me to get any halfway decent photo. I never met bunnies who NEVER stood still continuously for hours on end. Every time I click the snapshot button, I look at the result on the digital screen and I always have a pic of the back of their head or the wall or something useless. Darn wabbits.

This time I tried to take a pic of Baby Fwan in her litter box, and she must have leaned in to inspect the lens at the last second, and then I got the most shocking closeup of any living thing ever! A closeup of Baby Fwan:

Now I always knew Frannie was a mutt, and ugly in a cute sort of way, but oh my Lord Jesus in Heaven. Does my Honey Bunches of Oats really look like this in the light?? Was I drunk when I adopted her?? Good God!

The worst thing I could have done is show this to Frannie also, she got so upset that she bit my big toe nail clean off, peed in my sneakers, and tore up the only in-tact part of the southern couch. (I give the couches map legends now :))

Well, the good news is that Fran has agreed to start waxing 6 days a week, plus I am gonna get a new whisker accessory for the Flowbee.

The Bun Life - Tons of Abandoned Rabbits Rome Free in Florida

I found this article in the NY Times today and I was very depressed after reading it. I work in rabbit rescue, so I know how bad the domestic rabbit situation is, I see it first hand. Every time I go to the rescue, the other volunteers have some new horror story to tell. This one abandoned 5 rabbits here, this one dumped a litter of 7 there, and on and on it goes.

After seeing what people do to each other, it doesn't surprise me to hear what they do to rabbits. It makes me sad to think that those bunnies are probably scared and hungry, and I look at my fat, lazy, ungrateful, over indulgent bunny rabbits here and just sigh. If Thumper and Fran only knew what life could be like for them, maybe they would leave my couch alone.

I was thinking of doing like a field trip with Thumps and Fran, take them to areas where abandoned homeless rabbits live, like they do with city kids by taking them to prison and trying to scare them straight. I could just see Thumps now, looking at the scared bunny rabbits, then asking me "You mean, they don't get fresh garden greens and Evian water EVERY night like we do???"

Spoiled wabbits.

Teasing Bunnies Can Be Fun (ooh am I cruel or what?)

Seriously though, these darn booby rabbits (my new nickname for bunny rabbits) are so demanding, you can't help but tease them every once in a while. Okay, maybe you can, but I certainly can't! Plus, aside from these bunnies, I have absolutely no life, so it can sure beef up a slow night.

One of my favorite things to do is with Baby Fwan, why do I call her that, because I am an idiot okay? Thanks. Moving on, like I was saying, Fran and Thumps love carrots like any other bunny. What I love to do sometimes is put fresh hay in the litterbox, brand new Oxbow Hay or what have you, and then call the troops in to alert them of the new addition. Then, to get rid of Thumper, I give him a carrot and off he goes to hide away and eat. Now, Frannie is sitting right in the litterbox giving me the look as if to say "Ok, where's mine chump??".

Normally, I give it to her, this time, naaa. I just wait for her to accept it and she instantly starts eating the brand new hay. What I do then is wait for her to get a mouthful of hay, then stick the carrot right in front of her mouth to offer it to her. Only problem here, is that she can't grab it right then because she is full of hay. So she starts to chew the hay, in anticipation of getting the carrot when she is done. So, I walk away :) I walk to my room and guess who is right in tow?? Yup, Frannie. She has her best WTF look on her face also.

If she didn't eat the couch that day I will give her the carrot right then, if she did then I might do it again :) I am a heartless bastard, I know, the love has been bred right out of me I guess.

Bunnies Have A Penchant For Chewing Speakerwires & Computer Cables

I work in IT, and from home as well, so my computer equipment is very vital to my day to day living. Thumper, my albino white lop bunny rabbit, doesn't really understand this; actually he even told me point blank that inhaling my wires is one of his "long-term goals". Well, around the time I first brought Thumps home, he made his way past the gate and into my computer room. 10 minutes later I was driving up to the electronics store to buy new PC speakers.

20 minutes and $200.00 after that, I was on my way home with my brand new computer speaker setup. I got them home, hooked them up to my PC and went in the bathroom for a second. Little did I realize that the gate to the computer room didn't close all the way, and Thumps made his way in for a second round of chewing. I exited the bathroom, only to look in horror at what that little ball of claws and fuzz did to my computer speakers...my BRAND NEW speakers.

I reprimanded Thumps, which worked really well by the way, and then went to the store and acted like I brought the box home and I found the speakers chewed up. They didn't believe me, but I didn't care; no way was I laying out another few hundred bucks for a new stereo system. I eventually got yet another replacement system and amazingly Thumper got in the room again after I hooked them up and destroyed....just kidding, there was no third time. I had learned a valuable lesson: if thou ever shall be faced with hardship or obstacles, just lie and cheat your way through it, things will be alright.

I think Freud said that right? Maybe it was Bill Cosby instead, whatever.

Frannie Hangs Her Ears in the Water

I just noticed it the other day, Frannie walks over to get a drink from her water bowl and while she drinks she lets her floppy ears hang down in the water. Wonder if she does this on purpose, or is just too lazy and spoiled to so much as lift her ears out of the water when drinking. Bunnies have so many peculiar character traits, it is amazing. Everything from the way they communicate with each other, as well as with us humans, is very subtle. The longer you have them, the more little things you notice.

Case in point, I noticed the other day how it is perfectly acceptable for Thumps to walk away from Frannie after getting groomed. However, if Frannie should try to ditch Thumps after being groomed, he gives a loud thump and charges her until she turns around and reciprocates the gesture. Not a bad system, humans should use it also, it would makes things a lot smoother in the bedrooms of married couples wouldn't you say? Well, at least for us men anyway :)

The Hotel - Bunny Paradise

When I first got Thumper, he wasn't 'fixed' yet, so of course he was kinda crazy. The first thing he would do when you let him out of his cage, was run about 9000 circles around you. After a few hours of this, he would then grab his furry ball that we bought for him, and hump away for another hour. While this made for great entertainment, I couldn't help feel like we were invading Thumper's privacy.

Don't get me wrong, I know the Patriot Act made things like this legal, but the least I could do was give Thumps some 'time to himself' if you know what I mean. Then I discovered how much bunnies love cardboard boxes, how cutting holes in boxes and turning them upside down can make a great little hideaway for a bunny. So I did just that, I made a pretty good sized box for him, and I called it his 'Hotel'. Little did I know that Thumper would go on to treat it more like a motel.

I had company over for dinner, Thumper was eager to get out of his cage (wasn't free range then) so i decided to let him out for a little while. He runs out, grabs his little humping ball, then proceeds to head right for the hotel. He drags himself and the humping ball into the hotel, and then starts pounding away. The whole time he is doing this, the hotel is shaking like crazy, looking like an earthquake was tearing his hotel down.

We all laughed so hard for about an hour, boy he had us in stitches. When he stopped he came out of the hotel, did a little binky, then went and laid down. I was gonna offer him a cigarette but I decided against it. That was the time I decided he needed to be neutered right away.

Bun Life Intro - Third Time's a Charm (yeah right)

Well maybe it was a charm, because I was about to bring in my 4th bunny, and complete the sacred Circle of Aggravation, I mean Life. I wanted to find a partner for Sydney, aka Squibbles, aka The Nut, aka Absolute Psychotic Bunny Wabbit. I brought him to the rescue to see if we could try some potential mates out. After quite a few, all of which Squibbles tussled with, we brought in Fuzzy; another Dwarf gray colored rabbit. She is the epitome of "Dwarf", believe it:

Fuzzy, is now named Fuzzby. I was watching Court TV the night I got her and I saw a case about a guy who without a doubt killed his wife, but he was blaming it on some guy named Danny Buzzby (spelling??). I was thinking of a new name for my microscopic rabbit, and I decided on mixing Fuzzy with Buzzby, and out came the name Fuzzby.

Fuzzby is the quiet soul of the group, and she has had a little bit of a respiratory ailment (pseudamonis) since I brought her home. She is on meds (Zithro) and hopefully will be able to get rid of it, although the Doc says she might have it forever since she is an older bun.

So until she gets better, no bonding with The Nut. Now instead of the originally intended 2 bonded pairs, I now have a pair and two singles. What a setup. You wouldn't believe the things that go on here, and you haven't even really "met" Frannie and Thumps yet, not really anyway, wait until that happens. You will see just how demanding bunnies can be.

Bun Life Intro - Part Dooh

Ok, back again. So it was me, Baby Fwan, LT, and my ghetto ass couch; all in a cozy one bedroom apartment. Mind you, I work from home, so we spend a LOT of time together, so there is no set it and forget it with these bunny rabbits. After a while, I started volunteering for the Long Island Rabbit Rescue, where I adopted Frannie from. They are my new best friends, and some the best people you will ever meet, wabbits or no wabbits.

So, the best way to help out a bunny rescue is to help clean the rescue and the rabbits living quarters, this is the dirty part of rescue. Rabbits, in case you didn't know, can easily be litter trained and their poops normally come out hard and pellet like. Very easy to clean up, as long as they don't have a digestive ailment which makes their poops soft, then you're in for a real treat, NOT!

I show up every week, once a week, to clean the rescue (essentially a basement in the home of one of the rescue's founding members) and I live pretty far away so once a week is all I can really swing, with my job and all. One week, I come in for my shift, and see this little angel of a Netherland Dwarf bunny rabbit sitting in one of our cages, just staring at me. He knew this was his shot, and he brought his A game, believe you me. His name tag read "Doc" but I thought that name sucked, especially since we refer to our favorite vet as "Doc". I brought him home and named him Sydney, he is the baby of the family:

Cute huh? As a button. Looks sweet huh? Sure does. Probably the gentlest little guy in the whole wide world right? Not a chance. See how those ears are tucked back? That is not for cuteness effect, that is his attempt to make himself as aerodynamic as possible, so when he charges your ankles he can fly through the air at top speed!

Sydney, loves being held, and is the gentlest most affectionate bunny I have ever "held". Only problem is that he hates being picked up, or when you come near his cage on foot, or when you reach in his cage for him, or if you happen to be breathing or existing within 9 miles of his cage. The trick is to pick him up without giving him the opportunity to shred you in pieces first. If you can do that, you will be holding the sweetest bunny in the world, who will groom your arm and fall asleep in your lap for hours. Just don't put him down, EVER!

Bun Life Intro

My name is Jim and I am crazy about bunnies! Seriously, I love bunnies more than you will ever know, or actually you might know soon enough. I got my first bunny a few years ago, his name is Thumper (real original name I know) and he took over my life since that very first day. He now must be referred to only as "Lord Thumper", which is ridiculous I know, but if I don't use that name he will make my life a living hell. In case you're wondering, this is Lord Thumper:

You don't have to tell me how idiotic he looks with that stupid crown on his head, I know believe me. Once I got LT, I wanted to find him a bonded bunny partner, a girlfriend of sorts. Well, I called around, met this wonderful group of people The Long Island Rabbit Rescue Group, and that was when I adopted my second bunny rabbit...Francesca, aka Frannie, aka Baby Fwan, aka Fwibbety Fwan Fwan, and I could go on all night. Anyway, here is Frannie:

Needless to say, she is a real head turner, and she just happens to be my soul mate. Too bad Fran doesn't really reciprocate those feelings, well she does to Thumper anyway. I do know for a fact that Frannie loves at least one thing unconditionally, and here is a picture of it, or at least what is left of it:

My beautiful ex-couch, when I moved in to this new apartment with my new couch and my new bunny rabbits, I felt really....umm...new I guess. Not anymore, Baby Fwan has eaten my couch, and now she and Thumps live under the couch, taking up residence in the wooden cove between the two reclining seats.