Let me begin by first saying how much I absolutely HATE Halloween! Seriously, I do. Also, I have new upstairs neighbors now. The new people are WAY different than the amateur porn star couple that moved out. What moved in is Satan's in-laws. It is a couple in their thirties, the gangster type, with their underwear sticking out of their pants. Look, I love hip-hop music too, and if you grew up in Compton then I agree you are probably made of roofing nails. However, when you are a skinny white kid from the posh suburbia-heaven ghetto of Dix Hills, acting like the streets raised you is downright ridiculous looking. Anyway, Snoop Dogg and his Gangsta Hoe have like 80 kids, and they all wear platforms filled with concrete, and they sound like they have a Riverdance Instruction school that runs from 2AM to 1AM the next night, for the one hour they aren't open they are playing tag team wrestling and skydiving off the bed onto the floor, where I hear every bump, tap, slam, and heel stomp like it is beamed directly into my ear cavity. These kids must stay up all night drinking coffee and snorting No-Doz because I here them pounding and kicking and slamming all f*&^&*in night and day, EVERY night and day. I have become almost immune to it lately. I don't want any problems. I know kids will be kids so there is only so much Snoop can do. After all, there is 80 of them. How the hell do they have so many kids? I did the math, according to mine and Frannie's calculations, she must've had her first kid when she was 4. Yeah, not possible, back to the drawing board I guess. Hey, maybe they were like Gremlins and ate some fried chicken after Midnight, and then multiplied 79 times? Who knows.
The buns are great! We are getting all ready for Halloween. I have big plans. Frannie is gonna wash her hair, and then me and her are playing an exhibition Polish Yahtzee marathon with Thumper. We were thinking of doing a Haunted Couch Ride to make some extra money, but the couch is gone so scratch that idea! I am getting a life size picture of Charles Manson, taping it to my apt. door on Halloween, then writing on it "Knock for Candy! Note: I cannot be held liable for ANY sharp instruments found in candy!" That should deter those annoying trick or treaters! Bah-Humbun!
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I detest annoying neighbors! And whatever you do, for Fran's sake, do NOT tell the 80 kids that you have rabbits or they will want to come by to pet and play with the adorable, docile, non-destructive sweet little balls of fluff who love to be picked up and smooshed (bwahahahahahaahaha). Either that, or sic Frannie on them!!! Sydney can cover the ankles and Thumper can just disapprove in a "ghostly" fashion (seeing as he's always dressed as a halloween ghost with eerily glowing red eyes).
ReplyDeleteOh how you'll long for the old days of the "bam-chick-a-bow-wow" from the previous neighbors.
Best of luck to you and the buns!!!
LOL! I'm not much of a fan of Halloween either. Dix Hills gangstas, eh? They don't play (rolls eyes). How can they possibly have 80 kids at 30? I don't understand gangsta baby making machines.
ReplyDeleteI dont even know what a Polish Yahtzee marathon is. I agree with Shazzie...dont tell those maniacs that you are owned by bunnies.
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