My name is John Doe and I live in the area, but you don't know me and you will never meet me. Whatever you may think, this letter was not written by Baby Fwan, so don't think that. She has nothing to do with the writing of this letter, so if you find her DNA here then it is purely coincidental and you wouldn't have a chance in a court of law.
The reason of my letter was to inform you that I am not happy with the treatment Baby Fwan, I mean your rabbits are getting, especially that gorgeous one Baby Fwan. She is beautiful, you know I had a loaf of Pumpernickel bread that looked just like her one time. I dont mean the bread looked like her only one time, I mean it was one time long ago, theoretically speaking of course, Anyway, back to the point:
Rabbits, especially Baby Fwan, should NEVER be picked up, EVER, for any reason whatsoever. Baby Fwan..I mean your bunnies do not like being picked up, they fear it like you would the Boogie Man. So don't do it, EVER!! Oh and I just wanted to remark about how incredibly beautiful that Baby Fwan is. Wow, what a delightfully vivacious animal she is. I bet she is real smart too. Boy I can't get over how good looking she is, is she a model? She is definitely not fat, she is just big boned that's all.
Also, I would highly recommend turning over the couch permanently to Baby Fw...oops I mean your rabbits. You should do this ASAP as far as I am concerned, it is good for your mental stability. I read that in the book, "Natural Cures that Baby Fwan Doesn't Want You To Know About" that I saw on TV late at night.
Also, there is some talk about the complex being infested with a poison gas that only humans die from but not rabbits! You need to get away from this place, to save yourself. I would suggest moving out but keeping Baby F... I mean the rabbits in the apartment and still pay all the bills. This way I... I mean the rabbits will be comfortable while you are gone. This is very good advice coming from a sound mind. Bets of Luck to you Jim.
I walked into my apartment today, after being away for a few hours, and when I came back the kids were safely tucked away under the couch, and there was a folded piece of paper on the floor by the front door, it was obviously a note, and it had "To Jim" written on it. Surprised, I opened the letter and sat down to read it. Boy was this stupid: