He is so funny, he charges me when I mess around in his area, he sacrifices his whole body as a battering ram and just plows into me, of course he weighs less than a toothpick so it really is quite comical. He can bite though, and bites me all the time. They are not kill bites, they don't even break the skin, it is just a warning to remind me that he aint one to be messed with. However, he never bites when you hold him, he LOVES to groom you, he must think your arm is an ice cream cone or something.
Fuzzles on the other hand, has HUGE eyelashes, like Betty Boop, and never hurts anyone. Poor Fuzzles just wants peace and quiet, she is like one of the Golden Girls who just wants to play Bridge in the afternoons, come home and watch Wheel of Fortune, and then head off to bed. So, I just don't see how her life could mix with Sydney the charging jackass nutcase, you know? BUT, anyway, nonetheless, I was going through Squibbles room (playpen) and in the drawer, under some jeans, I found a letter he wrote to Fuzzy yet hadn't dropped in the mail yet.
Naturally, the first thing that pops into my head is, "How did my bunny get such beautiful handwriting?" Anyway, here is what the letter said:
"Dearest Fuzz Fuzz,
You probably remember me from when we first met, I know that didn't go so well, if my memory serves me right I think I face humped you and tore a small patch of fur off. Sorry about that, I just get incredibly nuts around beautiful women, I mean bunnies. Anyway, I been watching you from afar, actually about 3 feet, and I must say, did you lose weight?? You look amazing!! You have the fluffiest white and gray tail I have ever seen. That perfume you wear is decadent, by the way is that the new Moose Urine that's out? It is to die for.
Anyway, not to bore you with small talk, but I wanted you to know that I am really shy and can't express myself the way I would like. So I write you this letter, I hope you speak English, and can read it as well, because I want to know if you would like to go out with me some time? Maybe we can go out for a hay cube or something, or go rent a Bunny Bungalow for the weekend? Okay, I know I am probably moving too fast for you, but I feel my life is gonna be short. That mean huge big fat white rabbit from the other side of the tracks (living room) has sworn to others that he will cause my demise eventually.
I can't stand that big white bully, and his ugly girlfriend, you know who I'm talking about right? Man, she looks like she fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down! She went to a haunted house and came out with an application!! What is she anyway? She doesn't look like any bunny breed I ever saw. Anyway, she is not one of us, she is a sheltered spoiled bun who was born at a rescue, not RESCUED like us. That means she was loved from the get go, while we suffered in the hands of human trash. Do I sound bitter? Sorry, I just get passionate about the cause.
Hopefully, you will accept my invitation and, if you want, I can sneak out one night and come see you? I promise, I will bring my own litter box. Okay, bye my dearest Fuzzy Wuzzles, til next time.
Man, that is incredible, Sydney has an impressive vocab!