The Bun Life - Off Topic Post About Panera Bread

I know both of you want to hear about my bunnies, but they can wait for a change! I want to talk about my experience with Panera Bread, if you want to call it an experience, it is more like an inexperience really. It was like 8:30pm the other night and I stopped at Panera's because nothing else was open and this place was mobbed so I figured it had to be good. Never been there. I walk in and the place is chock full of people, absolutely mobbed, people stacked up 8x8 all the way up to the ceiling tiles waiting to eat some deliicous Panera or whatever the hell it is they sell.

Anyway, hungry as a beast , I finally get to the front of the line, and the kid asks me what would I like. Well, I looked at the menu for about 15 minutes and then turned to him and said, "I would like to leave, bye!" then I walked out. Why? Who the hell designed this menu, Martians? I like food, real food, not this crap. Here is their menu, the best I can recall it, some things have been changed to protect the identity of the source:

Appetizers

Baked Peanuts coated with charred butterjam
Bowl of Warm Water covered with Cheesecloth
Bread and Water Pudding

Sandwiches

Sun Dried Granola Dipped in Bleu Cheese
Artichoke & Tomato Paste with Boiled Strips of Iceberg Lettuce Between Two Large Wafers
Hard Tack, Dill Pickle and Jelly Beans on Pumpernickel Bread

Desserts

Soft Serve Mayonnaise Cone (Great for the Kids)
Triple Layered Yeast Cake Coated With Confection Sugar and Baby Powder

Beverages

Our Very Own "Jock Sock" Tea with NutraSweet
Dishwater Rootbeer Float, with Lemons

Who the hell eats granola for dinner?? Yeah that is what I want after a hard days work on the farm, a nice big chunk of granola, ooh my mouth is watering, and not because I am hungry but I am about to hurl!! Panera's blows!!

5 comments:

  1. You should have tried their "Hard Tack and Wafers" or their "Saltine and Jellybean" special. You could've bought back something for Frannie. Most stuff from Panera's tastes like couch stuffing anyway. Great blog, funny stuff.

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  2. OMG. You dont like Panera? They have "man" sandwiches. I think you were lost. I love to go by in the mornings when I get off work and grab a warm cookie and a coffee. Were you at a Panera in Japan maybe?

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  3. No not at all, what makes you think I don't like them? Just what I want for dinner, Green tea and loaf of bread. Great stuff lol.

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  4. 'Grilled Camembert and Pumpkin Butter Sandwich' - in other words, a grilled cheese sandwich with pumpkin paste instead of butter? what do they charge for this?

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  5. Pumpkin Paste? Isn't that what they give to bunnies when they don't eat their vegetables??

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