The Bun Life - Officially Warned

I received an email from someone in one of the rabbit groups in NY. She told me that the pictures of Frannie on the couch were not funny, she could die from eating couch stuffing, and my captions are not funny, and that I should consider that an "Official Warning". Okay, after about 35 minutes of straight laughing my @$$ off, my mind started to wander.

Since the warning came in an "official" capacity, I assume there is some kind of elite special forces unit on call that can be anywhere in the world with 24 hours notice. Kind of like the Delta Force, but for rabbit law enforcement. I could see them getting a page from their commander, who might be stationed at Fort Petco or some stupid thing. The page would read something like this:

"Emergency Warrant Issued. Suspect has fat pumpernickel bunny ingesting couch stuffing at a phenomenal rate. Mission is to rescue fat pumpernickel bunny, couch, and if there is time, the white bunny (so that fat pumpernickel bunny doesn't get "lonely"). Use of deadly force is authorized, only on suspect though, not on fat pumpernickel bunny. God speed gentlemen."

I could just see it now. 3 AM and all is asleep here. Then the bunny special forces crash through my door. Tearing the place up looking for the bunnies. Little do they know that they are under the couch though. Maybe I pull a weapon and start to put up a fight, then they have to retreat, form a perimeter, and start negotiations. I will keep my buns as hostages. The negotiator will say after a while, "Is there anything you guys need in there" as a way to start negotiations. Yeah, we need 50 pound bag of hay, 6 pound bag of pellets, 3 bags of care fresh, 100 mini carrots, 14 bags of couch stuffing from Bed Bath and Beyond, 27 heads of romaine lettuce, 4 bushels (is that a word?) of Basil, 2 gaggles of geese, and 4 apples. The negotiator would be like, "Okay, give us about a week, we just have to rent an 18 wheeler to get all this crap. They likely would just bomb the place to save themselves the hassle. LOL. I can just see them talking to each other, "Man, who knew you had to buy that much crap to take care of a few bunnies??"

Too funny, just for the record though, Franny can't get on my couch anymore, and when she did she never ate any stuffing, she just pulls it out. Not that it is anyone's business what my bunnies do anyway, but just in case anyone is curious.

9 comments:

  1. Wow! I had no idea there were these special forces out there enforcing stuff. Well, we are in big trouble then. We have pullers here too. Some will pull anything - pillow cases full of shredded paper, threads from afghans (one of their favorites) 'til it is no more, any cotton rug (another fav),plastic bags placed too close to the playpens (the noise alerts us to this however)and I wont even mention their addiction to cardboard boxes. Your captions are funny, and your devotion to your bunnies is obvious. Thanks for the funny story to start the day.

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  2. Uh, oh I better watch it, a couple years ago one of the Spots ate part of a silicon muffin cup and Tyler has penchant for inaccessible toxic plants. Better check around for a concealed CCTV....

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  3. Whatever! That is hilarious. Your captions are funny and frankly a guy blogging about bunnies is going to be a bit different than a woman anyway. I enjoy your perspective. Dont EVEN get me started on this topic. There are some bunny sites out there that I REFUSE to visit because of some of the "cute pictures" that I find offensive: Bunnies stuffed into stewpots and a big bun crammed into a little juice glass for someone's very special entertainment. It was quite obvious to me that Fwan wasnt EATING the couch stuffing anyway.

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  4. Some people are very co-dependent, they have to help you and your bunnies. They can't enjoy anything without helping. Just ignore them. Unless they are your mother.....

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  5. I meant MY mother. She will not be ignored. Nothing bothers her more than having her advice ignored. With MY mother, the only course of action is diversion.

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  6. Seriously Jim, don't give it a second thought. Some rabbit people are just out of their minds and control freaks. It's their way or the you-don't-deserve-a-bunny-way. It always shocks me how there are the crazy bunny police working side-by-side with the people who just want to empty the shelter and really don't care who takes the buns or whether they come back in a week. Buns eat stuff. It happens. I still think it's better to have them ingest a bit of stuffing than be caged and (more) obese, unable to exercise sufficiently. You know your buns, you're a very attentive caretaker, and if it seemed like something was wrong, you would stop whatever seemed to be causing it. We know you take great care of BF, TR and Syd. And you're exactly right: It's really no one's business what your rabbits do.

    I guess the LIRRG doesn't want your help anymore.

    And honestly, I'm shocked that someone would come after you now, of all times, knowing what you've been going through. How obnoxious.

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  7. Thanks everyone, you all are awesome bunny people, nearly all of you feel the same way I do about my bunnies, save for maybe the whole pumpermickel thing lol. I thought the comment was pretty ridiculous so it got my mind wandering. I still have visions of the Bun Force breaking down my door and bringing Frannie out in pawcuffs. Funny stuff.

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  8. Jim, I just found your blog today. It made me laugh outloud. I even laughed after I walked away from my PC. You've got a gift. I look forward to more.

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  9. Thank you Clovie Boy, I am glad I can provide some humor for you.

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