The Bun Life - Gene Mutation,Stem Cell Research,etc.

I was watching some show the other night about gene mutation and similar stuff. One scientist thinks in the future that you will be able to pick the kind of baby you want to have the best chance at getting, and they make the necessary adjustments in a test tube. almost like going to the deli in the AM and getting breakfast. "Yeah, hmm, I think I am gonna get a Baby Boy Harvard Law Package, is it compatible with the NASCAR driver mods? Great, ring it up, I mean ring him up."

Of course my mind wanders to what sorts of things I could do with bunnies and gene mutation. First and foremost, I would want to microscopically separate the pumpernickel bagel chromosome from the rabbit chromosome, so that Baby Fwan can have a shot at being just a normal kid again, I mean bun again.

Then I was hit by some flash visions. The best way to describe it is the movie remake of The Fly with Jeff Goldbloom (<<< spelling?) where he has two chambers and he tries to teleport from one to the other, but accidentally lets a house fly into the chamber with him. Thus, he becomes part fly, part man, also known as a "Flan". Wow, even sounds like Fran, this was meant to be, John Edwards told me so.

Of course, my experiment would not be to merge 2 life forms, but to separate. I would have subject A, Baby Fwan, hop into the left chamber, then hit the button marked "Depumpernickelization Process Start", at this point if Baby Fwan could talk she would likely say, "I don't know what is going on here, but whoever is in that other booth when I transport over, better not even think about picking me up, okay?"

The objective is to transport Frannie, minus the pumpernickel, to the destination portal. Knowing my luck, Fwan would remain the same, but then we would have pumpernickel bagels with wings flying all over the house. You know what they say, "You can take the Fwan out of the Pumpernickel, but You Can't the Pumpernickel out of the Fwan."


  1. Flying pumpernickel bagels. HAHAHA.

    I put on the fly once when I was really little and it freaked me out, esp. the part where his fingernails start peeling off. kind of became a phobia for awhile.

  2. Speaking of a Fwankenstein experiment, if you did depumpernickelize Fwan you might end with a Paris Hilton Fwan - all perfect and yet a monster!

  3. All this talk about flies and pumpernickel bagels makes me kinda...uh...hmmm..darn there really is nowhere to go with this joke anymore is there?