The Bun Life - Urgent! Question for All Of You Legal Buffs

Now, I want to make something very very clear, I am ONLY asking hypothetically now. Meaning that none of what I say has actually happened, I am only assuming and hypothetically posing questions for non-existant situations.

What if I had a friend, who had a little dwarf bunny, lets say a brown one, that was mentally ill. What if, hypothetically, my friend went to pour this bunny's pellets into his food dish, and something bad happened. I don't know, just for pretend sake, lets say that this mentally ill bunny waited until I....I mean my friend was finished pouring the pellets in Syd...I mean in the bunny's food dish and then lunged at m..my friend and bit him on the pinky.

Lets say that happened to me, I mean to my friend, and what if hypothetically speaking, my friend absolutely lost it, tied the bunny to the inside of his cage, and is now feeding him with a slingshot. I know, its crazy, but hey you never know right? I was just wondering, would I...my friend be prosecuted? What if the bunny was posessed by the undead spirit of my..my friend's ex-girlfriend? Would that knock a few years off the sentence you think?

Don't get alarmed now, this was just a hypothetical situation, any advice would be good so I could use it during my, I mean advise my friend during his trial.

Thanks for your help.

9 comments:

  1. Hypothetically speaking, completely fictionally speaking, what if your friend accidently by no fault of his own happened to drop his xanax in the bunny food. And let's say this non-existent bunny fell to sleep permanantly...then there would be no evidence, would there? Hypothetically I mean.

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  2. Lucky it was only your pinky, could've been worse! Next time don't be late with the pellets!

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  3. you...I mean your friend is in big trouble. I hope your...I mean your friend's other bunnies...if he has any, of course, didn,t see you...I mean your friend, do this!! Good luck to your friend, hypothetically speaking of course!!!

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  4. I just saw the funniest thing EVER!El Syd was on my bed, but he had a corner of the quilt on top of his head. Well, when I went and put pellets in his bowl, he ran to get a chance at biting me, but he wound up under the quilt instead. He then got lost! Running around the bed trying to find the exit to the quilt tunnel. Looked like the mound of dirt that Bugs Bunny used to leave on top of the ground as he moved around underground. I couldn't stop laughing, hilarious.

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  5. Sounds like Wascally Wabbit Twouble to me!

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  6. What kind of sick bunny bites when you try to feed him? I mean, don't bunnies love food? My bunnies go absolutely insane when they see me pick up their bowl, can't sit still, and put their heads in the way in anticipation, but i think they would be afraid that if they bit me trying to feed them, they might not get another breakfast for awhile.

    So funny about the bugs bunny thing!

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  7. I bit someone once - before the treats were out - it didn't end well for me, but I learnt not to bite the hand that feeds me treats, until after I've got the treat!

    Valuable lesson.

    Legally speaking (like I'd know.) As long as the said flesh eating lagomorph is managing to catch the slingshotted pellets - you're safe.

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  8. Theoretically speaking though, it would only be "better" to bite the hand that feeds you AFTER you got the treat, only once right? Because that would kind of null and void any further treats. Trust me, I am really smart, I think.

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