I recently read somewhere that you can tell how much a blog owner cares about his readers by looking at how often he updates. Hmm. Okay, now that we got that out of the way. Anyway, things have been tough, I have been so busy I haven't had even a minute to writ......oh whatever, I am lazy and really couldn't be bothered to get off my ass and write about these furry bunny rabbits, okay?!!! Wabbits are NOT that exciting, people, what do you expect from me?? I mean do you really need a day by day account of what Baby Fwan does? Okay, for those of you who are SO curious about Fwan's schedule, here is a list of Tweets for Baby Fwan's last week:
Monday: Got up, avoided dumbbell's face humps, crawled under couch and slept the rest of the day.
Tuesday: Got up, ate half a couch cushion, used the toilet, crawled under the couch.
Wednesday: Got up........
Okay, well you get the point here. Frannie ain't no Tweeting Twoublemaker like the rest of you Tweeple. All this hype about Facebook, Twitter, and Linked In is driving me and the bunnies nuts. I saw a company website the other day, the company makes metal bearings and washers for some industrial machinery. Under neath their "About Our Company" link (which I am willing to bet my spleen has never been clicked) they had their Twitter and Facebook links. "Check us out on Facebook!"
Okay, am I the only one who is noticing this? Facebook updates?? For a bearings company? What on earth could they possibly say on there that would mean a rat's ass to anyone on this side of the universe?? Twitter updates?? What would they be?
"Hey I just took a dump, now I am gonna go polish my bearings"
"Hey guys, this is the most boring job on earth, gonna go guzzle the rest of the Drano in the bathroom, say hi to my BFF for me!"
"Hey, great news guys! Those new washers just came in! I had to tell you on Twitter here, I just couldn't keep something of this magnitude a secret the whole day! OMG! My BFF just FBI'd the CIA and now she has the KGB on her ROFLMAO!"
Note to companies that are in the business of doing something BORING, you are NOT allowed to have a Facebook or Twitter page, it is a new law. We are gonna call it "Frannie's Law", any donations will go directly to the Frannie Feathers Research Foundation, a great organization that is conducting cutting edge research to find the cause of Frannie's 24-hour cowlick. Such a noble cause, brings tears to my eyes, oh wait, no, that is just my allergies.
Times have been hard on me and the Babbits (slang for Bunny Rabbits) lately. Poor Frannie, she was laid off last week from her first job as a "Bunny Sitter." I think it might have been my fault. You see this lady said she was going out of town and asked me if we could bunny sit for her. Sure!, Why not, Fran has never had a real job before, she just collects disability checks (section 209 says that Fran was too ugly to have a job) from the government.
So I went to the lady's house and dropped Frannie off, told her to watch the bunnies, that she was now in charge of them, and as a bunny sitter she was ultimately responsible for the bunnies. I only later realized that the lady wanted ME to be the bunny sitter, not Frannie. Well, long story short, I was sued in court for $20,000 worth of furniture damage.
So Frannie's not only out of a job, but now she was turned down for unemployment benefits. We filled out all the paperwork, followed all the rules, and submitted her application. I got the notice in the mail the other day, we thought it would be her unemployment check, but it was a note from the social worker down there. It was very brief and just simply said:
"Application for unemployment benefits denied, rabbits don't get unemployment you fu***ng jerk!"
I took it pretty hard, we are gonna have a moment of silence, under the couch, in Frannie's honor.