The Bun Life - Thinking of Getting a Bunny? Wondering What It's Like Owning One? Read This.

If you are pondering the adoption of a member of the Lagomorph species, also known in certain parts of the world as a "bunny", then one of your nagging questions is likely to be "What is it like owning a bunny?" Well, even if it isn't, I don't care because I am answering it anyway okay?! Now you have to remember, I am a mid-thirties heterosexual single white guy who works from home, and I live with 3 bunnies, a bonded pair of Lops, one albino and one pumpernickel (don't ask), and a single dwarf-mix. Therefore, any of my viewpoints should be considered with this in mind.

Collectively, most bunny owners are women, I know this from experience in rescue along with doing many "home visits" to screen potential adopters. Not once did I meet someone like me, some might consider this a good thing, namely Frannie, but that is neither here nor there. Also, nearly everyone in rescue or rabbit enthusiast events that I meet are also women, I've only met a couple men in these circles and actually found them all to be just like me in terms of sensitivity towards animals and things in general. My friend Chris, Lori's husband, is this way, and I think it is great; if everyone was, then the world would be a much better place.

So, what I am trying to get at, is if you are anything like me or the people I have explained above, then you are likely to have the following experiences and observations when adopting a bunny for the first time. Obviously, all bunnies are a little different, but I will mention stuff that applies to all mostly.

For the first few weeks, unless they exhibit extremely destructive, aggressive behavior, your heart will likely melt every time they do ANYTHING, such as play running, bunny flops (where they all of a sudden drop and roll like they got shot and play dead), binkying (playfully hopping and either clicking their heels together or shooting their legs straight out in happiness), grooming themselves, grooming you (this means they really love you, or your cologne or perfume contains timothy hay protein), and just about anything else.

They are as CURIOUS as any living thing you'll ever meet. Take any object, put it in their area, and walk away. I guarantee you, it is only a matter of seconds before they are right on it, checking it out, they rub their whiskers (yes, bunny whiskers are real, they use them for measuring the width of openings, just like cats do) on it, then they leave their scent on it by rubbing their chin on it, they have a scent gland in their chin that emits their identifying scent when they rub it on something. Not only are they checking it out, and marking it; they are also mapping it in their minds. Why? Every bunny memorizes at least 2 different exit routes in any space. This helps them escape predators, they are at the bottom of the food chain and are natural prey animals, therefore are instinctively suspicious of everything and everyone. Watch when they are spooked, they run one of these routes with incredible speed and precision, missing objects by centimeters with ease. As a matter of fact, when you want to catch your bunny, you can use this knowledge to your advantage. For example, by placing gates or boxes along the path of these routes to block them in, learn all the routes and you can easily trip them up. Pretty sadistic huh? lol.

Like I always say, bunnies will run first and ask questions later, especially if they see other bunnies running. In their minds, the element of danger is just the same as if they were on the African Savannah plains. Just because you house them safe in your home, where nothing will likely ever happen to them, doesn't have much of an effect (if at all) on their level of cautiousness. They will get comfortable, but not complacent, so be ready for a lot of "false alarms" where your bunny will thump for absolutely no reason, at least to you there is no reason for it, but to them it is serious business. The more you accept and learn about this part of the bunny psyche, the better off both of you will be, you won't be scratching your head when they do something strange, because it won't be strange anymore, you'll totally understand. After a while, you'll even find these behaviors very humorous, because you can read their minds.

You'll figure out that the better you care for your bunny, the more their personality will blossom. Again, it isn't complacency, but a relaxation of inhibitions on the part of the bunny. When everything is just the way the bunny likes it, there is more time and energy for playing and just being silly or obsessive about non-serious situations. Once you notice this, you'll respond by taking even better care of your bunny, if possible (and according to bunnies, it is ALWAYS possible to be treated better), then you will find that, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, you woke up one morning and your bunny has become....a spoiled rotten little conceded pretentious brat. And just like the good bunny slave that you are, you'll celebrate the transformation! You'll go on the web and tell all of your friends, excitedly, that Mr. Buns no longer accepts anything less than imported French Alpine water from the glaciers of the north. The other sheep, I mean slaves, will nod and laugh, and tell you how their bunny does the same thing. Then you'll upload videos of you building all kinds of crazy stuff for your bunny to reside or play in, then your bunny slave friends will give you pointers on how to improve it to maximize the bunny's benefit from the whole project. Then you might have fleeting moments where you wonder, what does this bunny do for me again? You won't be able to answer that, because the answer is NOTHING!! And the funny thing is, you'll be happy about that! You'll tell the other slaves about it and they will send you virtual bunny hugs, nomies, or whatever the heck else, and applaud your mental imprisonment via bunny. Are you starting to see just how bunnies are planning to take over the world? Forget false flag CIA conspiracies, the great bunny takeover is in full swing and we are gladly towing the line!

Overall, if you embrace bunny ownership, it can bring you great joy and companionship, they have a way of being there when you need someone to talk to that doesn't talk back. When grieving, bunnies are great to ease your pain. Treat them right, and you will be adopting a new family member, not a pet. The End.

9 comments:

  1. If it'll make you feel any better, Clint Eastwood is a proud bun-slave. He and his wife have a white New Zealand named August.

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  2. All you said is right on the money and it takes a particularly intelligent sort of man to appreciate a bunny. I know several, I am lucky.

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  3. Nutmeg whole-heartedly approves of the above message. However, she wonders why she is not receiving imported bottled water, chilled to just the right temperature. Thanks for that

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  4. Well said. The rewards are worth the effert. They are a joy!

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  5. Great comments guys, thank you! Well, except for my Dad, who evidently can't spell effort! Just kidding Dad, it happens to the best of us :)

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  6. Everything well put as always.
    Your comment about them taking of the world reminds me though... my best friend in college always said she hated rabbits. If you asked her why she would tell you that she was sure that they were primeval and plotting to take over the world and destroy us all etc. I always thoguht the rabbit "thing" was kind of a joke and I got my first rabbit in a very immature spontaneous situation and without her rabbit "thing" ever crossing my mind. After I told her I got a rabbit she never came to my apartment again and moved out of state within a couple of months.
    True story.

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  7. Let me just add, I absolutely love that your dad reads your blog :) Yay dad!!

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  8. It has been awhile JJ. Is everyone and everybun OK??

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