The Bun Life – Adventures of Bun Life Buns, Installment One

I am sure you always wondered what your bunnies would say if they could speak to you or one another in English, right? Well, either way, I have quite a few thoughts on how their conversations would flesh out, so without further a due, I present The Adventures of Bun Life Buns Installment One:

BF=Baby Fwan, TR= Thumper

BF: “Hey Thumps, over here you idiot! No, not over there, OVER HERE. I can’t believe this, how can you not find me when we are in the same room together?”

TR: “Duh, well, I am tracking your voice, not looking for you visually as much. Still can’t find you, let me try this – MARCO!”

BF: “Oh god, how stupid. …POLO!”

TR: “MARCO!”

BF: “POLO! For Pete’s sake! I see you, I am directly to your left!”

TR: “Where? I don’t see you at all. MARCO!!”

BF: “Your LEFT, not RIGHT! Your other side!”

TR: “Oh, hey, now I see you. MARCO!”

BF: “Stop saying MARCO, you found me already.”

TR: “Okay, gees, talk about grumpy. I swear, all you pumpernickel women have zero patience.”

BF: “Well, it is better than having zero of everything else, like you.”

TR: “Whatever, lets spoon over here in front of the TV, this way we can watch each other’s backs, in case Jim tries to pick us up or something.”

BF: “Okay.”

--------- 2 Hours Pass ----------

BF: “Thumps, wake up, let’s switch positions, the carpet is practically roasting my belly.”

TR: “Duhh, fine I guess. Hey you feel like chewing up anything of Jim’s? Maybe some computer or speaker wires maybe?”

BF: “No, you know I have my Picker Upper’s Anonymous meeting tonight, so why are you even asking? Wait, I take that back, you’re stupid so it makes perfect sense that you forgot already.”

TR: “Whatever. How is that going by the way? Get your 7-day chip tonight?”

BF: “Yeah, been a whole 7 days since I was last picked up, I am hesitant to celebrate, since this is my 60^th 7-day chip. Oh well, I’ll make the most of it.”

TR: “Listen, you should be proud, you can’t help it if Jim or someone else picks you up really. Well, you can, but if they get to pick you up after a chase, then you’ve done your best and should leave it up to your higher power.”

BF: “Higher power? Who would that be, the House Rabbit Society, or the Bunny Buddha?”

TR: “Whoever you want to believe it is, it is imperative that you believe your own bullshit brainwashing, so that you can heal.”

BF: “Okay, enough already, can we talk about something else please? How is the renovation under the couch going, making good progress?”

TR: “Not a whole lot, we can only run the power tools when Jim is asleep or not home, so chances have been minimal. We did get 90% of the stuffing underneath removed.”

BF: “Now you know that was my doing, stop trying to take credit for it.”

TR: “We have agreed on a cease-fire with El Lunatico in the other room though, I am trying to create a good rapport with him, but it is slow going. He is such a psycho that I have trouble even having a civilized conversation with him. I swear, as soon as I walk up to the gate, he starts charging and showing his teeth. I tell you, even though he weighs only 3 ounces, he is a brave little SOB. He don’t scare me though, he has no idea I won three consecutive Golden Paws titles when I was in the service.”

BF: “Service?”

TR: “Yeah, I was a member of the Bunny Brigades back in ’73, but I don’t like to talk about it.”

BF: “God, you are such a numbskull, and now a pathological liar on top of it. Man, if Jim only knew how big of a contrast there is between your fluffy white coat and your horrible character. Sometimes I don’t know why we even got bonded.”

TR: “You have no idea how much that day meant to me though. What day was that again?”

…To Be Continued