2011, wow, what a shock. It feels like only yesterday it was 2010, boy time flies when you could care less about anything. Anyway, I figured I would share this "situation" I have living in my apartment here. You see, I have neighbors of course, to my left, to my right, and above. The left and right ones are transparent like me, never make a sound beyond the normal daily living quirks. But the ones above, a couple in their 30's, are totally different. Just to note, they are actually really nice and friendly, and always have a smile and a friendly greeting when I see them. However, it is not seeing them that is the issue, it is hearing them. By the sounds of things, you would think they were taping the sequel to Boogie Nights up there. At least 5 or 6 times a week, they go at it, and go at it, and go at it. I don't know where they find time for anything else. I wouldn't even notice, had they not have their room right above my living room. Call me crazy, but I know for sure that they know I can hear them, because more than once I have tried to make it known such as saying in passing, "Up late last night huh?" or something to that effect. They just smile and nod or whatever, but that is as far as the conversation goes.
Talk about weird, I've almost grown accustomed to it, and have even started to schedule my nights around their prime time romping. I was thinking of inviting people over, charging them twenty bucks each, hire a bouncer, and even start a website, you know, make a night of it. Recently things have started to take a bizarre turn in the Playboy mansion upstairs though. Evidently there has been some role playing going on, I think so because a lot of the conversation makes no sense. For example, the wife couldn't have "just got home from cheerleading practice" because she graduated a long time ago. Damn pre-verts. I feel like yelling one night, "Come on, for Christ's sake, we have young bunnies down here!" I wonder sometimes who she is talking to, me or him, I find myself answering her questions, "you like that?" then from my apartment, "Yup! Just like that!" Okay, that is a lie, but it could happen! On the weekends there seems to be an overtime session as well, afterwards even I need a cigarette, and I don't smoke. Okay, back to work here, I sure hope none of this is added to my rent. :)
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Hah. No added fee for the entertainment!!! Our building is pretty much all elderly people. They hate us. There's no possible way to close a door quietly enough that they don't consider it "slamming." I'd gladly take neighbors who have loud sex regularly over neighbors who hate me.
ReplyDeleteHey, do you ever think maybe they're exhibitionists, and they completely understood your subtle attempt to notify them, and they were proud of it, and that's why they haven't stopped? Just sayin.
When you can hear the neighbors having sex, it's not like watching the Playboy channel! You don't want to have to listen to loud, obnoxious people engaged in bodily functions of all sorts - not good!
ReplyDeleteI should subpeona them to Judge Judy's show. Then they can get some real exhibition lol :) Even so, they are actually super nice people, and the wife is hot, so things could be a lot worse :) Honestly, the whole thing is really funny to me, just a funny quirk of everyday life.
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