About a month ago, I got a letter in the mail (where else do you get letters right?) that warned me, okay told me, about a visit I would be getting from a survey person. That person is from some group doing a study on some subject. If I am ultimately chosen, after answering a few basic questions, to participate in the hour long survey, that I would receive thirty bucks cash. Hey shit, who doesn't need thirty bucks cash right? After all, that's like 8 bags of spring mix for the kids (bunnies).
So, I sat in my apartment for a month, waiting with wings for this survey person. She finally made my millenium by knocking on the door and offering me the survey. Okay, I totally had forgotten about it the second I tossed the letter, but what the hell. I grilled her a little bit to make sure it wasn't some scam to get social security numbers for identity theft (yes, people do that) and when I was certain she was legit I let her in. Well, once she saw Frannie hanging out by the TV it was all over, "Ohhhh mmmyyyy, you have BUNNIES???" and then we talked about bunnies for an hour. After that she asked me the basic questions and then her computer told her I was selected to participate in the hour long survey. She was like, "Oh great, I get to come back and see the bunnies again!"
She came back the next day and we did the survey. Only took an hour, and she handed me thirty bucks and a receipt that said so. When she left I saw that the receipt had check boxes to either accept the money or decline the money. I was like YEAH RIGHT, decline free money while crackheads are up at Waldbaums asking me to let them charge my groceries on their welfare card so I can give them cash in return?? Helllll no! You know why they need cash right?? If you don't then you are the one who agreed to do it :) Crack dealers don't take produce in place of Jefferson's. I just thought it was funny how they had that option, even more funny was that the lady never told me about it. That just tells me that she felt the same way I did.
Deny Baby Fwan her 8 bags of spring mix so the crackheads can keep welfare in business?? I think not.
The Bun Life: New Product "Self Bunny Catching Carrier"
Okay, I know what you are saying, "What the hell is a self catching bunny carrier?", right? Well, if that isn't what you're saying then you should be! Thumper, my white giant albino fluffy lop bunny rabbit (how many adjectives?) needed to be brushed the other night. Frannie did too but I brushed her and was done with it. Thumper, on the other hand, was determined to not be picked up and brushed no matter what the cost.
After pointlessly chasing him around the living room for an hour, I decided to get the bunny carrier out. I would place it down on the ground, open the door, and try to herd him into it by chasing him that way. It didn't matter what I did, he wasn't going in the damn carrier. Then, I was paged by work (of course), and I went into the computer room to do some work. I just left the carrier laying on the ground where it was.
After about an hour of working, I walked out to get Thumper a carrot. Only problem was, I couldn't find him. I tipped the couch over and only found Baby Fwan, no Tumps. I started thinking about that game show, "Where In The World Is Carmen Tumpie Rabbits?" Then after about 5 minutes of looking all over, I turned to glance at the carrier and guess who was sitting in the carrier all peaceful with the door closed? Thumper! Okay, I lied about the door being closed part. Lassie he definitely ain't, but caught he definitely was.
I couldn't believe that he didn't run out of the carrier even after seeing me come in the room. I was laughing my tail off. Okay, that was yet another lie, I don't have a tail, but a girl I once dated did. Her prom dress was a nightmare to tailor. Anyway, back to the important thing, the self bunny catching carrier. I am now selling them for $275.00 plus luxury tax (so Fran can live in the lap of luxury), hey they are a great buy, all you have to do to catch the bunny is place it down and walk away for an hour. When you return your bunny will be chilling out in the carrier waiting to be caught (if he has rocks in his head like one white rabbit I know).
After pointlessly chasing him around the living room for an hour, I decided to get the bunny carrier out. I would place it down on the ground, open the door, and try to herd him into it by chasing him that way. It didn't matter what I did, he wasn't going in the damn carrier. Then, I was paged by work (of course), and I went into the computer room to do some work. I just left the carrier laying on the ground where it was.
After about an hour of working, I walked out to get Thumper a carrot. Only problem was, I couldn't find him. I tipped the couch over and only found Baby Fwan, no Tumps. I started thinking about that game show, "Where In The World Is Carmen Tumpie Rabbits?" Then after about 5 minutes of looking all over, I turned to glance at the carrier and guess who was sitting in the carrier all peaceful with the door closed? Thumper! Okay, I lied about the door being closed part. Lassie he definitely ain't, but caught he definitely was.
I couldn't believe that he didn't run out of the carrier even after seeing me come in the room. I was laughing my tail off. Okay, that was yet another lie, I don't have a tail, but a girl I once dated did. Her prom dress was a nightmare to tailor. Anyway, back to the important thing, the self bunny catching carrier. I am now selling them for $275.00 plus luxury tax (so Fran can live in the lap of luxury), hey they are a great buy, all you have to do to catch the bunny is place it down and walk away for an hour. When you return your bunny will be chilling out in the carrier waiting to be caught (if he has rocks in his head like one white rabbit I know).
The Bun Life - Bunnies and m&m's???
'Twas the night before absolutely nothing and all through the house (apartment), not a creature was stirring (except 2 my two free range bunnies) not even a mouse. The bag of m&m's dangled from my hand with care, not knowing that Thumper would soon be right there. I was scratching and snoring when, from the other side of the living room, arose a clatter. I jumped up from my slumber to see what the hell was the matter. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but my stupid fluffy white bunny rabbit eating a bag of m&m's!!
I was horrified to see Thumper chewing on my bag of regular m&m's. I jumped up and immediately took it away from him. Thankfully there wasn't that many left, I think he ate five or six, maybe even less. I watched both him and Fran closely for the rest of the night, thankfully they are fine. Would you believe it, that little white devil spends his time sniffing the carpet and licking the carpet looking for more m&m's!!
I looked up a bunch of stuff on the web, some good and some bad, mostly I watched him and Fran. Fran was doing wheelies all night while Thumper chased her around the apartment trying to face hump her, business as usual to me. These crazy bunnies, thank god my mistake didn't cost poor Thumps his life. No more candy in that room that's for sure.
I was horrified to see Thumper chewing on my bag of regular m&m's. I jumped up and immediately took it away from him. Thankfully there wasn't that many left, I think he ate five or six, maybe even less. I watched both him and Fran closely for the rest of the night, thankfully they are fine. Would you believe it, that little white devil spends his time sniffing the carpet and licking the carpet looking for more m&m's!!
I looked up a bunch of stuff on the web, some good and some bad, mostly I watched him and Fran. Fran was doing wheelies all night while Thumper chased her around the apartment trying to face hump her, business as usual to me. These crazy bunnies, thank god my mistake didn't cost poor Thumps his life. No more candy in that room that's for sure.
The Bun Life - Why Do They Do That?
I brought Thumps to the rescue the other night, I volunteer there weekly to clean the cages, feed them , etc. I wanted Nancy, the woman who owns the house where the rescue bunnies reside, to help me cut his nails because Thumps practically turns me into swiss cheese when I try to cut his nails. He pulls away every time right before I cut the nail, by the time I am done I am so nervous I feel like I drank a trillion cups of coffee. So my thinking is that 2 people would be needed to cut his nails right? One to hold him, and the other to cut. Nope.
I am sure you other bunny owners can sympathize with me on this one, don't you hate it when your bunny behaves perfectly for a complete stranger than they do for you? I hate that :) Nancy was holding him in her arms when she came down. I wanted to shoot him! He NEVER lets me hold him, if i so much as even think of picking him up he bites my Achilles heel off (okay I am exaggerating, but you know what I mean). That stupid fat lop albino white fluffy booby rabbit!! Okay, I am done insulting Thumper now. Then she cut his nails, ALL BY HERSELF! Unreal, I could kill him. He just sat there like a good old hospital patient while she did what she needed to do. If that was me it would've taken about 4 days to sit there and cut each nail while he jostled and pulled away each time.
Why do they do that? When my sister comes over he jumps up onto the couch into her lap. Oh the humanity! Why doesn't he jump into my lap?? Because in his mind, I am the food getter, the guy that brushes my hair, the guy that talks to me like a stupid baby, and the guy that tries to stuff me in a carrier when I don't want to be. So his first thought is to run when he sees me coming, so sad. Oh well, guess I'll just go watch soap operas with Baby Fwan, I think The Buns of Our Lives is on.
I am sure you other bunny owners can sympathize with me on this one, don't you hate it when your bunny behaves perfectly for a complete stranger than they do for you? I hate that :) Nancy was holding him in her arms when she came down. I wanted to shoot him! He NEVER lets me hold him, if i so much as even think of picking him up he bites my Achilles heel off (okay I am exaggerating, but you know what I mean). That stupid fat lop albino white fluffy booby rabbit!! Okay, I am done insulting Thumper now. Then she cut his nails, ALL BY HERSELF! Unreal, I could kill him. He just sat there like a good old hospital patient while she did what she needed to do. If that was me it would've taken about 4 days to sit there and cut each nail while he jostled and pulled away each time.
Why do they do that? When my sister comes over he jumps up onto the couch into her lap. Oh the humanity! Why doesn't he jump into my lap?? Because in his mind, I am the food getter, the guy that brushes my hair, the guy that talks to me like a stupid baby, and the guy that tries to stuff me in a carrier when I don't want to be. So his first thought is to run when he sees me coming, so sad. Oh well, guess I'll just go watch soap operas with Baby Fwan, I think The Buns of Our Lives is on.
The Bun Life - New Gas Chamber Idea For Fuzzy Wuzzles
After about 10 min of sitting on my lap breathing in the nebulizer with her head in one position, Fuzzy was having no more of it. She would squirm and turn her head the whole time, thus wasting the nebulizer meds. So I decided to turn my carrier into a temporary gas chamber for Fuzzball.
I read about the benefits and disadvantages of using a chamber with bunnies. Nevertheless, I have to nebulize her twice a day so there is no way she will sit through 45 minutes a day of me holding her head one way. I don't think she would like the mask, plus I can do other things while she is being gassed.
Here is my version of the Ghettobulizer:
Not Bad Huh?
I read about the benefits and disadvantages of using a chamber with bunnies. Nevertheless, I have to nebulize her twice a day so there is no way she will sit through 45 minutes a day of me holding her head one way. I don't think she would like the mask, plus I can do other things while she is being gassed.
Here is my version of the Ghettobulizer:
Not Bad Huh?
The Bun Life - The Nebulizer Bunny
Well, I began nebulizing Fuzzy Wabbles today. For those of you who don't know what that is, nebulizer is a machine that vaporizes medication and the patient holds it to their mouth and inhales. Kind of like a bong hit, but instead of pot you are inhaling medicine. Fuzzy has had a respiratory infection for ages now, this is my attempt to knock it out for good. She is so funny sitting there with the smoke going into her nose, she doesn't move a muscle, I had to pinch her to make sure she was still alive for god's sake.
Instead of the Energizer Bunny, Fuzzy Wabbles is now the Nebulizer Bunny. I guess that would be like the crackhead version of the Energizer Bunny, instead of starting up UFO's, Fuzzy would go around sneezing and blowing snot all over everyone!! Oh no, it's the Nebulizer Bunny! Everybody run! Poor Fuzzy, she never asked for this fame and fortune, she just wants to be a good little fuzzball. But no, now she shall nebulize all of mankind, and bring white snot to those who are less fortunate! Go Fuzzy!
Instead of the Energizer Bunny, Fuzzy Wabbles is now the Nebulizer Bunny. I guess that would be like the crackhead version of the Energizer Bunny, instead of starting up UFO's, Fuzzy would go around sneezing and blowing snot all over everyone!! Oh no, it's the Nebulizer Bunny! Everybody run! Poor Fuzzy, she never asked for this fame and fortune, she just wants to be a good little fuzzball. But no, now she shall nebulize all of mankind, and bring white snot to those who are less fortunate! Go Fuzzy!
The Bun Life - Close Call
Wow! I couldn't believe the close call I had the other day with Thumps and Frannie. I live in an apartment building and on the lower floor. The people above me all have small dogs in their apartments. Well the other day, I am getting ready to go out, remember T & F are free range now, so I open my front door to leave and just at that exact moment one of the upstairs neighbors is coming down the stairs with their dog. It was a small chihuahua type thing. This thing was not on a leash and made a bee line right for my living room, WHERE MY BUNS ARE!! He bolted between my legs and I frantically swirled around and grabbed the dog with both arms, lifting him up and putting him down outside my apartment door. Whew! What a horrible feeling that was, don't get me wrong I love dogs and everything, but if he had attacked my buns it would've been the end of him right then and there. The idiot neighbor should have had him on a leash. He said that he puts the leash on in the hallway. I told him that is not good enough. He agreed thankfully, so we didn't have to get loud or anything. For some reason I think it is all Fran's fault, I don't know why but I just do.
The Bun Life - How Bunnies Give Every Situation a CPU Rating
No, I am not talking about the kind of CPU rating that people rate computer processors with. I am talking about how domestic bunnies rate every possible situation with one simple rating, the CPU, better known as the Chance that I will get Picked Up rating. This applies to bunnies that hate getting picked up, which is probably 90% or better. There are those rare ones that absolutely love getting picked up and held. My dwarf bunny Sydney LOVES being held, but hates being picked up, which obviously causes some conflict. He runs and hides when I approach the playpen, and I have a whole array of tricks to get him into a position where I can pick him up.
I have used strings to pull cage doors closed from a distance, so he can't run into his hidey box, and many more similar type strategies. I always win, it is just a matter of how hard I am willing to work at picking him up, he knows this, even sometimes when he makes it to his hidey box I keep at it. I will open the cage, disconnect the playpen, clear everything out of his cage until it is just me and him, and he still avoids me by sitting in the far corner. It is the funniest thing ever, I laugh the whole time I am doing it, he is such a stubborn little devil. Yet when I finally pick him up, he licks my hand and just loves to be held, falling asleep in my lap, what a good boy.
That just shows you his natural fear of being picked up. Thus, Sydney gives every situation that involves me an extremely high CPU rating. Same goes for Thumper and Frannie, even if I walk up close and offer a carrot, they always hesitate and approach with caution, if I make any sudden moves they dart away, they give me a high CPU rating as well, they act as if I am the Grim Reaper for god's sake. God forbid I get picked up!!!!! Ohh NOOOOO! I've been picked up!! Ohh the bunanity!
So remember what CPU really means the next time you approach your bunnies.
I have used strings to pull cage doors closed from a distance, so he can't run into his hidey box, and many more similar type strategies. I always win, it is just a matter of how hard I am willing to work at picking him up, he knows this, even sometimes when he makes it to his hidey box I keep at it. I will open the cage, disconnect the playpen, clear everything out of his cage until it is just me and him, and he still avoids me by sitting in the far corner. It is the funniest thing ever, I laugh the whole time I am doing it, he is such a stubborn little devil. Yet when I finally pick him up, he licks my hand and just loves to be held, falling asleep in my lap, what a good boy.
That just shows you his natural fear of being picked up. Thus, Sydney gives every situation that involves me an extremely high CPU rating. Same goes for Thumper and Frannie, even if I walk up close and offer a carrot, they always hesitate and approach with caution, if I make any sudden moves they dart away, they give me a high CPU rating as well, they act as if I am the Grim Reaper for god's sake. God forbid I get picked up!!!!! Ohh NOOOOO! I've been picked up!! Ohh the bunanity!
So remember what CPU really means the next time you approach your bunnies.
The Bun Life - Gas Bubble or Stasis?
I went to feed my dwarf bunny Sydney yesterday morning, same time as usual, same way as usual. I noticed that he wasn't running around the enclosure like a wild man as he normally does when I start getting the food ready. I know my rabbits like I know myself, so I notice anything out of place. I put the food down, he was sitting doing his loaf of bread impression as bunnies do, no interest in the food. Ooh, that isn't good. I go get a carrot, nope. I thought maybe he just wasn't hungry, but it was not normal. I decided to pick him up to examine him, as I was carrying him didn't lick my wrist on my left hand, and he ALWAYS does that, every time. I get him on my lap and he wasn't grooming me at all, which is his trademark, his claim to fame, the ultimate groomer.
I feel his stomach and it feels a little bloated. I try to take his temp but there isn't a chance in hell of him letting me. Alone, I just can't manage it without hurting him. So, I give him some simethicone and start doing tummy massages. I actually held him up to my chest on an angle and started kneading his belly. He seemed to like that, so I did it for like an hour. I put him back down. He went into a loaf of bread again. So I let him rest for awhile. A couple hours later, I check on him and he is eating! Great, now he seems fine.
I am just wondering if it was the beginning of stasis and I just caught it, or was it just a gas bubble? Hmm, either way I am glad he is okay of course.
I feel his stomach and it feels a little bloated. I try to take his temp but there isn't a chance in hell of him letting me. Alone, I just can't manage it without hurting him. So, I give him some simethicone and start doing tummy massages. I actually held him up to my chest on an angle and started kneading his belly. He seemed to like that, so I did it for like an hour. I put him back down. He went into a loaf of bread again. So I let him rest for awhile. A couple hours later, I check on him and he is eating! Great, now he seems fine.
I am just wondering if it was the beginning of stasis and I just caught it, or was it just a gas bubble? Hmm, either way I am glad he is okay of course.
The Bun Life - Fun Fran and the Banana Man
I always thought that Thumps and Fran hated bananas, Thumps I know for a fact does. Which is surprising because you could toss a jock strap in his bowl and he'll probably eat it, but for some reason bananas are a no go with him. For some reason I thought Fran was the same way, evidently I was wrong.
It was a normal evening, Fran getting a drink of water while hanging her ears in it, Thumps under my couch devouring it from the inside out, business as usual. I motion for Fran to come over quietly, I didn't want to alert Thumps, I had a piece of banana and was curious to see if she would take it. She lazily walked over, took the piece of banana, and basically inhaled it like a cigarette! I was like "Ok, guess she does like banana"
Let me tell you, every single time I go anywhere near the refrigerator, she is waiting in angst for the off chance that a piece of banana is coming. I can't get rid of her now, she is like that dog that follows you home from school. Yeah almost just like that, except Fran isn't a dog, plus I am not going to school, plus I wasn't on my way home. okay, maybe it is not like that at all. Who knows anymore, I gotta go out and by 6 barrels of bananas now.
It was a normal evening, Fran getting a drink of water while hanging her ears in it, Thumps under my couch devouring it from the inside out, business as usual. I motion for Fran to come over quietly, I didn't want to alert Thumps, I had a piece of banana and was curious to see if she would take it. She lazily walked over, took the piece of banana, and basically inhaled it like a cigarette! I was like "Ok, guess she does like banana"
Let me tell you, every single time I go anywhere near the refrigerator, she is waiting in angst for the off chance that a piece of banana is coming. I can't get rid of her now, she is like that dog that follows you home from school. Yeah almost just like that, except Fran isn't a dog, plus I am not going to school, plus I wasn't on my way home. okay, maybe it is not like that at all. Who knows anymore, I gotta go out and by 6 barrels of bananas now.
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