As all six of you very well know, I am the proud father of four bunnies, not just Baby Fwan. One of them is a big fat pure albino white lop named Thumper. Gorgeous bunny, petting him is like hugging a pile of feathers. Anyway, albinos have a thing with their vision where they constantly scan the room and tend to see things that aren't there quite often.
So, the point is that Thumper is often spooked, a little more so than your average bun. One thing I happened to notice about Thumps, and bunnies in general, is that when they are eating hay in their litter box and get spooked, they jump and run away to a corner or something, but they never spit out the hay that they were eating, ever notice that? It's like, yeah I was scared enough to run, but not scared enough to spit out this delicious piece of hay I was eating.
So what does this tell us? I tell you what I think, I think they are fibbing. Yup, I said it, fibbing. I don't think they are really spooked when they do that, I think it is just something they do to play around, or to "practice" getting the hell out of Dodge. Kind of like when tiger cubs practice predatory skills with there brothers and sisters; it is a survival skill that needs to be honed. I think the same thing holds true for bunnies, they need to practice avoidance. Poor bunny rabbits, just because they are in a house now and away from any kind of danger, doesn't change their genetics. So the next time your bunny scoots across the room and hides under the couch for no reason, you can rest assured that all they are doing is practicing.
One more thing that is bugging me. I know bunnies don't have knees, but what if they did? What if they did, and Frannie hurt her knee. It would sound so weird answering the vet's questions and telling her that the problem is "Frannie's knee", or even the singular sound like "Fran's knee" will sound like "Fransnee". Boy that would be ridiculous. I would have to change her name for the duration of her knee injury, just to enhance communication between me and the vet.
Boy, is this blog retarded or what?
The Bun Life - Baby Fwan's Top Ten Love Songs of All Time
Here is a list I found of Baby Fwan's favorite love songs of all time. Man, if you thought my linguistics post was stupid, you ain't seen nuttin yet!
1. Saving All My Love For Fwan - by Whitney Houston
2. Hungry Fwan - from the movie Dirty Dancing
3. You Give Fwan a Bad Name - Bon Jovi
4. Fwan Bites - by Def Leopard
5. Can You Feel The Couch Tonight - by Elton John
6. How Do You Talk To a Fwan Fwan - by The Heights
7. The Power of Hay - by Celine Dion
8. Fwannie in a Bottle - by Christina Aguilera
9. I Would Do Anything For Fwan (But I Won't Move Out) - by Meatloaf
10. Nothing's Gonna Change The Pellets I Give You - by Glenn Medeiros
So there you have it, the absolute stupidest paragraph of text you have ever read, to date anyways.
1. Saving All My Love For Fwan - by Whitney Houston
2. Hungry Fwan - from the movie Dirty Dancing
3. You Give Fwan a Bad Name - Bon Jovi
4. Fwan Bites - by Def Leopard
5. Can You Feel The Couch Tonight - by Elton John
6. How Do You Talk To a Fwan Fwan - by The Heights
7. The Power of Hay - by Celine Dion
8. Fwannie in a Bottle - by Christina Aguilera
9. I Would Do Anything For Fwan (But I Won't Move Out) - by Meatloaf
10. Nothing's Gonna Change The Pellets I Give You - by Glenn Medeiros
So there you have it, the absolute stupidest paragraph of text you have ever read, to date anyways.
The Bun Life - Stop Staring At Me!!
I was watching TV the other night, I glanced over to see what Frannie and Thumps were doing. Incredibly, they were doing nothing, whoulda thought right? Anyway, I look to my left and I see Frannie sitting near the cage, but she is looking at me, well.. gawking at me is more like it. I thought nothing of it, then went into the office, I glance over at the door and who is at the gate, staring at me? Fran. I ask her what she wants, but Frannie doesn't speak english very well, so I gave her a carrot thinking that would keep her busy.
So I sit down to work and I glance over at the door, and who is there, eating a carrot AND staring at me?? Baby Fwan is right. I felt bad and gently explained to her that I was much older and that we could never be a couple, due to the fact of the age difference, and that someday she would make some couch very happy indeed. Well, she stared at me the rest of the night, so I am worried that she might be posessed, maybe by the spirit of my dead couch!!.
So I sit down to work and I glance over at the door, and who is there, eating a carrot AND staring at me?? Baby Fwan is right. I felt bad and gently explained to her that I was much older and that we could never be a couple, due to the fact of the age difference, and that someday she would make some couch very happy indeed. Well, she stared at me the rest of the night, so I am worried that she might be posessed, maybe by the spirit of my dead couch!!.
The Bun Life - Fwan: A Linguistics Perspective
Believe it or not (probably not), the word Fwan has many, many meanings. It can also be used in many, many ways. I thought I would educate you on this so very vital topic, and explore all the ins and outs of the word Fwan.
Just a little history lesson, the word Fwan is originally derived from the Latin expression Couchus Rippus Stuffus Inhalus, meaning "Baaad Bunny Wabbit" You can also use it to classify a bunny rabbit as being a member of a stereotypical class of bad bunny rabbits in general by saying, "You're a bad Fwan!!" Or you could use it as an expletive when yelling at your bunnies in anger, for example, by saying something like, "Get the fwan out of my face!"
It can also be used as a unit of currency when trading amongst the townspeople, "Okay, give me a pack of gum and a coke please." "Okay, the total comes to 4 fwans and eighty cents." It can be used to classify an imjury, "I have a hairline fwan in my left arm!" It can be used to describe the passing of unpleasant gas, "This fat guy on the elevator let out the most disgusting fwan I have ever smelled!" It can also be used as a non-offending way to state the use of the rest room , "Be right back, I gotta take a fwan!"
It can also be used as a substitute word in favorite children's limericks, for instance, using it instead of the word "wood" in this famous rhyme, "How much fwan could a fwanchuck fwan if a fwanchuck could chuck fwan?" Okay, that was really stupid I know, but these are the kinds of things I say when around Baby Fwan. I can't help it, she brings out the complete foolish childish moron in me.
Just a little history lesson, the word Fwan is originally derived from the Latin expression Couchus Rippus Stuffus Inhalus, meaning "Baaad Bunny Wabbit" You can also use it to classify a bunny rabbit as being a member of a stereotypical class of bad bunny rabbits in general by saying, "You're a bad Fwan!!" Or you could use it as an expletive when yelling at your bunnies in anger, for example, by saying something like, "Get the fwan out of my face!"
It can also be used as a unit of currency when trading amongst the townspeople, "Okay, give me a pack of gum and a coke please." "Okay, the total comes to 4 fwans and eighty cents." It can be used to classify an imjury, "I have a hairline fwan in my left arm!" It can be used to describe the passing of unpleasant gas, "This fat guy on the elevator let out the most disgusting fwan I have ever smelled!" It can also be used as a non-offending way to state the use of the rest room , "Be right back, I gotta take a fwan!"
It can also be used as a substitute word in favorite children's limericks, for instance, using it instead of the word "wood" in this famous rhyme, "How much fwan could a fwanchuck fwan if a fwanchuck could chuck fwan?" Okay, that was really stupid I know, but these are the kinds of things I say when around Baby Fwan. I can't help it, she brings out the complete foolish childish moron in me.
The Bun Life - Oh No! Fwan's In Trouble Again!
I was in the post office this morning, and I look up for a second and I see this poster, and Frannie was on the poster! Obviously, what she did to my couch was a felony, and now she skipped bail. I hope I don't have those Dog, the Bounty Hunter fags bashing down my door now, looking for Baby Fwan.
What the hell is going on with that bunny? I don't need all this drama, I have cable for god's sake. The other 3 bunnies are very upset, it took 4 or 5 carrots just to settle Thumper down about all this. He can't believe what Frannie is doing to my upholstery, or what used to be my upholstery. Wonder when she'll stop running from her problems.
The Bun Life - New Issue of "Playbun" Hits The Streets Today! Baby Fwan On Cover!
Fwan has gone and done it now, unreal. What am I gonna do with a famous bunny? I'll tell you what, nothing. She already has an arrogant attitude walking around the house now, like she is a star and I am a piece of junk. Well, actually, it has always been that way. Anyway, I scanned a copy of the mag for you guys, here it is:
What am I gonna do about her? Unreal Fwannie, unreal.
The Bun Life - Baby Fwan Has Done it This Time!! (With Photo Evidence)
Okay, I leave for a few hours the other night, and on the way out I keep thinking about the bunny gossip going around around Thumper and Frannie. The word on the street (huh?) is that Thumper is the one actually chewing up my couch when I am gone, that he is just framing Baby Fwan to take the hit for his criminal clawing of my chewed up couch. Do I really believe that? Not a chance. I have caught Frannie on the couch grooming the armrest, burrowing into the corner, all kinds of weird shit. Not for a SECOND do I think Frannie is innocent.
Well, I come home the other night, and I was horrified by what my eyes were telling me. I kept a camera handy and ready to go in case I ever got a chance to take evidence photos (for the prosecution). Well, here it is, truth unfolded, undeniable proof that Frannie is a couch criminal:
Well, I come home the other night, and I was horrified by what my eyes were telling me. I kept a camera handy and ready to go in case I ever got a chance to take evidence photos (for the prosecution). Well, here it is, truth unfolded, undeniable proof that Frannie is a couch criminal:
Frannie is an evil bun, and I will see to it that prosecutors will be violated! Wait, I mean viacutors will be prosellated, oh whatever, you know what I mean!. Vote NO for Baby Fwan!
Franny's Vacation Photos
I can't believe it, I guess Franny gets around more than I ever knew. Turns out the whole time I think she is under the couch, she is really traveling the world without me, or even Thumper. I found a whole stash of Franny's world travels and vacation photos. I will be scanning them and uploading them as I go. Here are two of them:
Here is one of Franny on the street in London:
Amazing that she didn't get hit by a car!
And here is one that really shocked me when I saw it:
I can't believe he got that close to Frannie without her running away! Wait a minute, now that I think of it, how the hell did Frannie get so close to him?? So much for the secret service!
I will be scanning more as I go, she has a whole box of them here.
Here is one of Franny on the street in London:
And here is one that really shocked me when I saw it:
I will be scanning more as I go, she has a whole box of them here.
The Bun Life - What Has This Fran, I Mean World, Come To?
Poor Baby Fwan. I can only imagine how far down I am on Frannie's Christmas card list, even at this time of year. Me and Baby Fwan just don't see eye to eye, for real actually, bunnies have side mounted eyes and we have front mounted eyes, so eye to eye is damn near impossible!
Just how aloof is my Baby Fwan to me? Well, to give you an idea, I sit on the couch watching TV. Frannie will sit in the middle carpet between 2 escape routes: one goes directly into the puppy cage (where I can't get her), and the other goes right into the cardboard "Heartbreak Hotel" where I also can't get to her. She lies down with her legs stretched out behind her, cowlick and all, and just stares at me for hours on end.
Well, you might say that is so cute, she loves you! Nope, sorry. Frannie has a more sinister purpose for staring at me all night: conducting surveillance. If I so much as think about getting up off the couch, she immediately goes into "Holy Shit, He's Coming!" mode, and then jettisons her fluffy big butt into the puppy pen to escape the hellish nightmare of being picked up, petted, given a carrot, and have silly songs sung to her by her deranged owner! Oh the humanity!!
I can sometimes get to her when she nods off on watch and I get the element of surprise. Then she just sucks it up and goes into "survival" mode, where a bunny zones out and digs deep to get through a terribly traumatic situation, like being loved. I can then hug her for about 27 seconds, if I push the fact, then there are consequences. At 30 seconds, Fran starts to jostle, wiggle, squirm, and buck. Once we pass the 40 second mark, she starts using her Edward Scissorhands claws on me, if all else fails, then Fran will pee on me (I swear, she did it to me!). How dare Frannie be so dramatic!
So other than that, Me and Frannie are very close, as long as I don't come within 400 feet of her, things are fine :))
Just how aloof is my Baby Fwan to me? Well, to give you an idea, I sit on the couch watching TV. Frannie will sit in the middle carpet between 2 escape routes: one goes directly into the puppy cage (where I can't get her), and the other goes right into the cardboard "Heartbreak Hotel" where I also can't get to her. She lies down with her legs stretched out behind her, cowlick and all, and just stares at me for hours on end.
Well, you might say that is so cute, she loves you! Nope, sorry. Frannie has a more sinister purpose for staring at me all night: conducting surveillance. If I so much as think about getting up off the couch, she immediately goes into "Holy Shit, He's Coming!" mode, and then jettisons her fluffy big butt into the puppy pen to escape the hellish nightmare of being picked up, petted, given a carrot, and have silly songs sung to her by her deranged owner! Oh the humanity!!
I can sometimes get to her when she nods off on watch and I get the element of surprise. Then she just sucks it up and goes into "survival" mode, where a bunny zones out and digs deep to get through a terribly traumatic situation, like being loved. I can then hug her for about 27 seconds, if I push the fact, then there are consequences. At 30 seconds, Fran starts to jostle, wiggle, squirm, and buck. Once we pass the 40 second mark, she starts using her Edward Scissorhands claws on me, if all else fails, then Fran will pee on me (I swear, she did it to me!). How dare Frannie be so dramatic!
So other than that, Me and Frannie are very close, as long as I don't come within 400 feet of her, things are fine :))
The Bun Life: 2012 - The End Of The World, What Would Frannie Do?
I saw the movie 2012 the other night, I brought my father with us cause I knew he would like the movie. John Cusack is a great actor, and the movie was really great. Not too far fetched, and I like that.
At the end they are trying to get this huge door closed to make their ship watertight, and this one lady had a little dog that wound up on the opposite side of a crevice (without giving the movie away), and the only way to save the dog was to convince it to jump. She urged the dog by telling it to jump to her and after a few times the dog did just that, and it was saved. The movie ended shortly after, end of story.
On the way home, the conversation inevitably turned into a "What would you do if the world ended" type group talk. Of course my first thoughts are...my family? No. My friends? No. My car? Nope. My neighbors? Not a chance. Innocent bystanders under the age of 6 that can't help themselves? Nope. My 4 fluffy bunny rabbits? Hell Yeah!!
Everyone laughed as I described the scenario of chasing the bunny rabbits around the house trying to convince them of the levity of the situation. I would be yelling, "The world is ending you idiots!" and they would be running under the couch. Then after about 15 minutes, I would be jetting to my car, 4 bunnies in tow.
Then I thought of the movie, and the part with the dog. Naturally, my thoughts replaced that very dog with guess what? Fran. The most indifferent living thing in the natural world to date. If all Frannie had to do was jump into my arms to save herself, you can count her out, not a chance in furry hell would Fran engage in any physical activity that even remotely resembled moving toward me in any plausible fashion. Not gonna happen. I can just picture it now, "Baby Fwann! Jump to me Frannie, come on Frannie, your gonna die, please jump!!!" Frannie would look, and she would think, "Hmm, I bet this is merely a ploy to pick me up and do my nails or some unpleasant crap. Hmmm, get picked up by Jim or die a fiery death. I'll take death. Nahhh. You go ahead Jim, I'll be fine."
Me convincing Frannie to do anything I want besides take a carrot or eat her food is a futile journey. Poor Fran, what the hell are we gonna do in 3 years Frannie??
At the end they are trying to get this huge door closed to make their ship watertight, and this one lady had a little dog that wound up on the opposite side of a crevice (without giving the movie away), and the only way to save the dog was to convince it to jump. She urged the dog by telling it to jump to her and after a few times the dog did just that, and it was saved. The movie ended shortly after, end of story.
On the way home, the conversation inevitably turned into a "What would you do if the world ended" type group talk. Of course my first thoughts are...my family? No. My friends? No. My car? Nope. My neighbors? Not a chance. Innocent bystanders under the age of 6 that can't help themselves? Nope. My 4 fluffy bunny rabbits? Hell Yeah!!
Everyone laughed as I described the scenario of chasing the bunny rabbits around the house trying to convince them of the levity of the situation. I would be yelling, "The world is ending you idiots!" and they would be running under the couch. Then after about 15 minutes, I would be jetting to my car, 4 bunnies in tow.
Then I thought of the movie, and the part with the dog. Naturally, my thoughts replaced that very dog with guess what? Fran. The most indifferent living thing in the natural world to date. If all Frannie had to do was jump into my arms to save herself, you can count her out, not a chance in furry hell would Fran engage in any physical activity that even remotely resembled moving toward me in any plausible fashion. Not gonna happen. I can just picture it now, "Baby Fwann! Jump to me Frannie, come on Frannie, your gonna die, please jump!!!" Frannie would look, and she would think, "Hmm, I bet this is merely a ploy to pick me up and do my nails or some unpleasant crap. Hmmm, get picked up by Jim or die a fiery death. I'll take death. Nahhh. You go ahead Jim, I'll be fine."
Me convincing Frannie to do anything I want besides take a carrot or eat her food is a futile journey. Poor Fran, what the hell are we gonna do in 3 years Frannie??
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