Hello all, I hope everyone is doing well, bunnies included. I hadn't seen BIB but a couple more times after posting the video of him and his cottontail girlfriend in my parent's community. I was driving out of the place when I saw both him as well as two other wild cottontails now. Yes, a trio now. It didn't really surprise me, because there are a million rabbits out East here.
Watching them run and jump over each other was wild. They were going all out, BIB was a virtual nutjob circus act :) He was doing everything but the uneven parallel bars. It reminded me of Bailey Bunny from YouTube (skip first video), doing wheelies etc.
One thing has been bothering me. Even though I've been told on more than 2 occasions by different residents who said BIB has been here for 3+ years, I am still concerned about later this year when Winter starts. Cottontails do not burrow like other wild rabbits. They build nests for their young into the ground, but not the traditional dug burrows. They like to o under a log, a shed, a compressor, etc.
I am just worried about BIB not being able to survive the Winter, just in case the residents are wrong about the length of time he's been here. I am gonna ask a couple people here about some details if they know anything. But, it does worry me, and I know I will be compelled to act if things don't seem well. Other than that, he is one hell of a happy bunny. He has it pretty good out here from what I have seen.
The Bun Life - Back On The Scene, Nah Mean?
Okay, okay, you don't have to yell! I know, I'm sorry about not posting for a bit, but if you knew why I didn't then I am sure you will not only forgive me, but be empathetic for my situation. Now, I hate when people make up some B.S. story to avoid having to admit their irresponsible behavior, so you will NEVER get that from me. We are friends, and I don't lie to my friends.
With that said, I can tell you what is going on. The amazing truth is that me, Fran, Thumper, Sydney, and a Wild Bore (don't ask) were abducted by Aliens. Please, I know it sounds ridiculous, but it is 100% true. I swear on my children's grave!! Or is it "graves?" What if I bury them together, in the same grave? How about childrens' "graveii?" I don't think just because I don't have children that I can't swear on them. Anyway, back to the stor...I mean account of what happened.
I was sitting at home, with the buns, and all of a sudden we found ourselves inside an Alien spacecraft, naked! Well, I was naked anyway. How embarrassing! Just like the dream I use to have about going to school but forgetting to get dressed! We were held in the ship for the whole time, subjected to horrific experiments. We were beamed back early because of good behavior, and now we are BACK!
Okay, now for the experience that I had this morning which made me post again. In my parents' housing community, for the last 3 years there has been a rumor of a jet black straight-eared bunny hopping around here. We are on the Eastern tip of LI, so lots of grass, deer, and farms, and rabbits. Black bunny means domestic bunny though, an ABANDONED domestic bunny most likely. I didn't think the rumors were true because of everything I've learned.
Then, a neighbor of my parents told them that he had seen the phantom bunny around the other day, but this time he wasn't alone. They said that he has made a friend, and it was a wild cottontail bunny. He said they seemed "inseparable". Bonded? Really? Wild and Domestic? I seriously doubted the details of the sighting. This morning, I was driving out of the community, a week earlier I started bringing the camera with me everywhere in case I spotted the ghost bunny, and I got lucky. The domestic bunny, who I named "Bun In Black" was indeed a real bun, and I love how when he saw me in the car he turned his head and looked at me, ears pointed up and the nose wiggling away, lol. The truth is, the battery was dead in the camera from sitting there, and they played and jumped over one another for about 20 minutes. I will get another chance I hope, anyway here is the 27 seconds of video I got:
Now tell me, do you see a frightened, starved bunny? No, quite the contrary actually, he seems happy as can be. This is very unusual, because most perish quickly, but this guy has the "hood on lock".
With that said, I can tell you what is going on. The amazing truth is that me, Fran, Thumper, Sydney, and a Wild Bore (don't ask) were abducted by Aliens. Please, I know it sounds ridiculous, but it is 100% true. I swear on my children's grave!! Or is it "graves?" What if I bury them together, in the same grave? How about childrens' "graveii?" I don't think just because I don't have children that I can't swear on them. Anyway, back to the stor...I mean account of what happened.
I was sitting at home, with the buns, and all of a sudden we found ourselves inside an Alien spacecraft, naked! Well, I was naked anyway. How embarrassing! Just like the dream I use to have about going to school but forgetting to get dressed! We were held in the ship for the whole time, subjected to horrific experiments. We were beamed back early because of good behavior, and now we are BACK!
Okay, now for the experience that I had this morning which made me post again. In my parents' housing community, for the last 3 years there has been a rumor of a jet black straight-eared bunny hopping around here. We are on the Eastern tip of LI, so lots of grass, deer, and farms, and rabbits. Black bunny means domestic bunny though, an ABANDONED domestic bunny most likely. I didn't think the rumors were true because of everything I've learned.
Then, a neighbor of my parents told them that he had seen the phantom bunny around the other day, but this time he wasn't alone. They said that he has made a friend, and it was a wild cottontail bunny. He said they seemed "inseparable". Bonded? Really? Wild and Domestic? I seriously doubted the details of the sighting. This morning, I was driving out of the community, a week earlier I started bringing the camera with me everywhere in case I spotted the ghost bunny, and I got lucky. The domestic bunny, who I named "Bun In Black" was indeed a real bun, and I love how when he saw me in the car he turned his head and looked at me, ears pointed up and the nose wiggling away, lol. The truth is, the battery was dead in the camera from sitting there, and they played and jumped over one another for about 20 minutes. I will get another chance I hope, anyway here is the 27 seconds of video I got:
Now tell me, do you see a frightened, starved bunny? No, quite the contrary actually, he seems happy as can be. This is very unusual, because most perish quickly, but this guy has the "hood on lock".
The Bun Life - Thinking of Getting a Bunny? Wondering What It's Like Owning One? Read This.
If you are pondering the adoption of a member of the Lagomorph species, also known in certain parts of the world as a "bunny", then one of your nagging questions is likely to be "What is it like owning a bunny?" Well, even if it isn't, I don't care because I am answering it anyway okay?! Now you have to remember, I am a mid-thirties heterosexual single white guy who works from home, and I live with 3 bunnies, a bonded pair of Lops, one albino and one pumpernickel (don't ask), and a single dwarf-mix. Therefore, any of my viewpoints should be considered with this in mind.
Collectively, most bunny owners are women, I know this from experience in rescue along with doing many "home visits" to screen potential adopters. Not once did I meet someone like me, some might consider this a good thing, namely Frannie, but that is neither here nor there. Also, nearly everyone in rescue or rabbit enthusiast events that I meet are also women, I've only met a couple men in these circles and actually found them all to be just like me in terms of sensitivity towards animals and things in general. My friend Chris, Lori's husband, is this way, and I think it is great; if everyone was, then the world would be a much better place.
So, what I am trying to get at, is if you are anything like me or the people I have explained above, then you are likely to have the following experiences and observations when adopting a bunny for the first time. Obviously, all bunnies are a little different, but I will mention stuff that applies to all mostly.
For the first few weeks, unless they exhibit extremely destructive, aggressive behavior, your heart will likely melt every time they do ANYTHING, such as play running, bunny flops (where they all of a sudden drop and roll like they got shot and play dead), binkying (playfully hopping and either clicking their heels together or shooting their legs straight out in happiness), grooming themselves, grooming you (this means they really love you, or your cologne or perfume contains timothy hay protein), and just about anything else.
They are as CURIOUS as any living thing you'll ever meet. Take any object, put it in their area, and walk away. I guarantee you, it is only a matter of seconds before they are right on it, checking it out, they rub their whiskers (yes, bunny whiskers are real, they use them for measuring the width of openings, just like cats do) on it, then they leave their scent on it by rubbing their chin on it, they have a scent gland in their chin that emits their identifying scent when they rub it on something. Not only are they checking it out, and marking it; they are also mapping it in their minds. Why? Every bunny memorizes at least 2 different exit routes in any space. This helps them escape predators, they are at the bottom of the food chain and are natural prey animals, therefore are instinctively suspicious of everything and everyone. Watch when they are spooked, they run one of these routes with incredible speed and precision, missing objects by centimeters with ease. As a matter of fact, when you want to catch your bunny, you can use this knowledge to your advantage. For example, by placing gates or boxes along the path of these routes to block them in, learn all the routes and you can easily trip them up. Pretty sadistic huh? lol.
Like I always say, bunnies will run first and ask questions later, especially if they see other bunnies running. In their minds, the element of danger is just the same as if they were on the African Savannah plains. Just because you house them safe in your home, where nothing will likely ever happen to them, doesn't have much of an effect (if at all) on their level of cautiousness. They will get comfortable, but not complacent, so be ready for a lot of "false alarms" where your bunny will thump for absolutely no reason, at least to you there is no reason for it, but to them it is serious business. The more you accept and learn about this part of the bunny psyche, the better off both of you will be, you won't be scratching your head when they do something strange, because it won't be strange anymore, you'll totally understand. After a while, you'll even find these behaviors very humorous, because you can read their minds.
You'll figure out that the better you care for your bunny, the more their personality will blossom. Again, it isn't complacency, but a relaxation of inhibitions on the part of the bunny. When everything is just the way the bunny likes it, there is more time and energy for playing and just being silly or obsessive about non-serious situations. Once you notice this, you'll respond by taking even better care of your bunny, if possible (and according to bunnies, it is ALWAYS possible to be treated better), then you will find that, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, you woke up one morning and your bunny has become....a spoiled rotten little conceded pretentious brat. And just like the good bunny slave that you are, you'll celebrate the transformation! You'll go on the web and tell all of your friends, excitedly, that Mr. Buns no longer accepts anything less than imported French Alpine water from the glaciers of the north. The other sheep, I mean slaves, will nod and laugh, and tell you how their bunny does the same thing. Then you'll upload videos of you building all kinds of crazy stuff for your bunny to reside or play in, then your bunny slave friends will give you pointers on how to improve it to maximize the bunny's benefit from the whole project. Then you might have fleeting moments where you wonder, what does this bunny do for me again? You won't be able to answer that, because the answer is NOTHING!! And the funny thing is, you'll be happy about that! You'll tell the other slaves about it and they will send you virtual bunny hugs, nomies, or whatever the heck else, and applaud your mental imprisonment via bunny. Are you starting to see just how bunnies are planning to take over the world? Forget false flag CIA conspiracies, the great bunny takeover is in full swing and we are gladly towing the line!
Overall, if you embrace bunny ownership, it can bring you great joy and companionship, they have a way of being there when you need someone to talk to that doesn't talk back. When grieving, bunnies are great to ease your pain. Treat them right, and you will be adopting a new family member, not a pet. The End.
Collectively, most bunny owners are women, I know this from experience in rescue along with doing many "home visits" to screen potential adopters. Not once did I meet someone like me, some might consider this a good thing, namely Frannie, but that is neither here nor there. Also, nearly everyone in rescue or rabbit enthusiast events that I meet are also women, I've only met a couple men in these circles and actually found them all to be just like me in terms of sensitivity towards animals and things in general. My friend Chris, Lori's husband, is this way, and I think it is great; if everyone was, then the world would be a much better place.
So, what I am trying to get at, is if you are anything like me or the people I have explained above, then you are likely to have the following experiences and observations when adopting a bunny for the first time. Obviously, all bunnies are a little different, but I will mention stuff that applies to all mostly.
For the first few weeks, unless they exhibit extremely destructive, aggressive behavior, your heart will likely melt every time they do ANYTHING, such as play running, bunny flops (where they all of a sudden drop and roll like they got shot and play dead), binkying (playfully hopping and either clicking their heels together or shooting their legs straight out in happiness), grooming themselves, grooming you (this means they really love you, or your cologne or perfume contains timothy hay protein), and just about anything else.
They are as CURIOUS as any living thing you'll ever meet. Take any object, put it in their area, and walk away. I guarantee you, it is only a matter of seconds before they are right on it, checking it out, they rub their whiskers (yes, bunny whiskers are real, they use them for measuring the width of openings, just like cats do) on it, then they leave their scent on it by rubbing their chin on it, they have a scent gland in their chin that emits their identifying scent when they rub it on something. Not only are they checking it out, and marking it; they are also mapping it in their minds. Why? Every bunny memorizes at least 2 different exit routes in any space. This helps them escape predators, they are at the bottom of the food chain and are natural prey animals, therefore are instinctively suspicious of everything and everyone. Watch when they are spooked, they run one of these routes with incredible speed and precision, missing objects by centimeters with ease. As a matter of fact, when you want to catch your bunny, you can use this knowledge to your advantage. For example, by placing gates or boxes along the path of these routes to block them in, learn all the routes and you can easily trip them up. Pretty sadistic huh? lol.
Like I always say, bunnies will run first and ask questions later, especially if they see other bunnies running. In their minds, the element of danger is just the same as if they were on the African Savannah plains. Just because you house them safe in your home, where nothing will likely ever happen to them, doesn't have much of an effect (if at all) on their level of cautiousness. They will get comfortable, but not complacent, so be ready for a lot of "false alarms" where your bunny will thump for absolutely no reason, at least to you there is no reason for it, but to them it is serious business. The more you accept and learn about this part of the bunny psyche, the better off both of you will be, you won't be scratching your head when they do something strange, because it won't be strange anymore, you'll totally understand. After a while, you'll even find these behaviors very humorous, because you can read their minds.
You'll figure out that the better you care for your bunny, the more their personality will blossom. Again, it isn't complacency, but a relaxation of inhibitions on the part of the bunny. When everything is just the way the bunny likes it, there is more time and energy for playing and just being silly or obsessive about non-serious situations. Once you notice this, you'll respond by taking even better care of your bunny, if possible (and according to bunnies, it is ALWAYS possible to be treated better), then you will find that, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, you woke up one morning and your bunny has become....a spoiled rotten little conceded pretentious brat. And just like the good bunny slave that you are, you'll celebrate the transformation! You'll go on the web and tell all of your friends, excitedly, that Mr. Buns no longer accepts anything less than imported French Alpine water from the glaciers of the north. The other sheep, I mean slaves, will nod and laugh, and tell you how their bunny does the same thing. Then you'll upload videos of you building all kinds of crazy stuff for your bunny to reside or play in, then your bunny slave friends will give you pointers on how to improve it to maximize the bunny's benefit from the whole project. Then you might have fleeting moments where you wonder, what does this bunny do for me again? You won't be able to answer that, because the answer is NOTHING!! And the funny thing is, you'll be happy about that! You'll tell the other slaves about it and they will send you virtual bunny hugs, nomies, or whatever the heck else, and applaud your mental imprisonment via bunny. Are you starting to see just how bunnies are planning to take over the world? Forget false flag CIA conspiracies, the great bunny takeover is in full swing and we are gladly towing the line!
Overall, if you embrace bunny ownership, it can bring you great joy and companionship, they have a way of being there when you need someone to talk to that doesn't talk back. When grieving, bunnies are great to ease your pain. Treat them right, and you will be adopting a new family member, not a pet. The End.
The Bun Life - No TV Dinner, But Something Better
Well, the impossible finally happened. I know nobody will believe this, but tonight I actually watched TV with Baby Fwan! Just like I do with Sydney, but less time, about ten full minutes. At first she freaked out when I laid her on the couch next to me. Of course, she looked for the nearest cliff to dive off of, with me holding her like a Fwan-in-the-Blanket appetizer next to me. She kept pulling that "if I could separate from my skin, I would" move until I just started stroking the top of her head while I bunched her up alongside me, and she eventually calmed down! If I hadn't moved around after about 10 minutes I bet she would have stayed there a lot longer. Before she could jump off, I put her back in her area so I ended it on a good note. I bet with some resistance training, we might be able to get through a whole episode of Cold Blood, that serial killer show.
Oh, I made a funny observation too. I was watching Frannie get groomed by Thumper, and how he kept getting further and further towards her, errr....ummm.... rumpus. At first, he would groom her eyelids, her ears, then her shoulders, then her ribs, and all I thought was "any minute now, and he will go for it, always does" but I was incredibly surprised and impressed by Frannie's intellect. She knows him so well, right before he is about to grab her and start humping her, she popcorns up and either backs up and make him start all over again (meaning she gets groomed again) or runs away entirely. He might give chase but she is faster and more agile than him, and of course he is pretty dumb so it doesn't take much for her to bamboozle him, lol. Bunny drama is so funny, if you weren't really watching closely and knew rabbits, you would miss all of it entirely, then you would have what they call "a life" hahahaha.
Oh, I made a funny observation too. I was watching Frannie get groomed by Thumper, and how he kept getting further and further towards her, errr....ummm.... rumpus. At first, he would groom her eyelids, her ears, then her shoulders, then her ribs, and all I thought was "any minute now, and he will go for it, always does" but I was incredibly surprised and impressed by Frannie's intellect. She knows him so well, right before he is about to grab her and start humping her, she popcorns up and either backs up and make him start all over again (meaning she gets groomed again) or runs away entirely. He might give chase but she is faster and more agile than him, and of course he is pretty dumb so it doesn't take much for her to bamboozle him, lol. Bunny drama is so funny, if you weren't really watching closely and knew rabbits, you would miss all of it entirely, then you would have what they call "a life" hahahaha.
The Bun Life - Sydney, The Little Dwarf Rabbit Heating Pad/Pillow
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| The SYD1000 Model Heating Pad |
Sydney, when he is on the ground at your feet, is a psychotic individual, a bunny serial killer if there is such a thing. If you were a bunny, you wouldn't want to live next to him, and would want him on the Nutcase Registry. He wouldn't be able to live within 100 miles of a bunny school.
As you know though, when you pick him up and sit him on your lap, or just hold him, he becomes Little Orphan Bunny, licks you to death, and is just an all around cutie. What I have been doing lately is sitting him on my lap, watching TV. He does that for a good hour, then starts to get a little fidgety, so I let him walk around on the other side of the couch/love-seat, I just use my arm to block him when he starts getting froggie wanting to jump off the couch. I laugh because every time I block him he grunts and whimpers to himself (but surprisingly never bites). I know he is saying to himself, "Oh come on! Why can't I just jump down??" Like a little kid throwing a tantrum.
To stop him from getting all crazy, I cuddle him and just rest my head on him. I don't put any weight on him or anything, I am real careful about that. Then, I noticed that he happens to find that very comforting, as most bunnies love the stuffed in a can feeling, it makes them feel safer. I know this because he has now started falling asleep when I do it! LOL. Tonight I did it and he was out like a light. I swear, he is the best heating pad ever! Maybe I can modify the position to soothe my trapezoid muscles? lol. Is it wrong for me to use little squibs as a small appliance? Talk about adorable, GOD I have the best bunnies, nah nah nah.. nah.. na na!
The Bun Life - Get Well Mr. B
Been a little bit since I posted last, been very busy lately, Frannie finally got her disability check and is pricing out clown colleges in the Greater New York area. I always wondered, is there a Not-So Great New York Area, or maybe even the dreaded Sucky New York Area? What a stupid language English is sometimes. Park in a driveway and drive on a parkway, stupid right? I'd like everyone to take a knee really quick:
My friend Catherine, who is an Official Bun Life Groupie by the way, is worried sick over one of her bunnies Mr. B, an all black lop mix and a real cutie (loves to be pet on his side, at least he does by me :) ). He has been having problems on and off with sludge in his bladder, they think he might even have a UTI. She has been running him back and forth to the best vets in NYC, so she is doing all she can, so let's all pray that he gets better and bounces back. I know she loves him very much, as all of us do of our bunnies, so I am sure we all can relate. Also, it is her birthday (well, it was yesterday the 6th) so hopefully her and Mr. B can catch a birthday break as well.
If you are really feeling generous and kind, I am now accepting donations for Frannie's clown college fund starting today. Clown college is really expensive, they charge you 5 bucks per scarf they pull out of the clown hat, and you already know that those damn scarfs never seem to end! To donate money to Frannie's Fund, click here. Thanks, your generosity will surely go unnoticed!
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| Mr. B and Monet (R.I.P.) |
If you are really feeling generous and kind, I am now accepting donations for Frannie's clown college fund starting today. Clown college is really expensive, they charge you 5 bucks per scarf they pull out of the clown hat, and you already know that those damn scarfs never seem to end! To donate money to Frannie's Fund, click here. Thanks, your generosity will surely go unnoticed!
The Bun Life - Frannie Feeling Under the Weather
Hey all. I woke up this morning and Frannie and Thumps were running circles waiting for the pellets as usual, and they both ate. However, I walked by the enclosure a few hours later, and Frannie was doing the loaf of bread pose in the litterbox. Right away, I knew something was off, I know my girl and she never does that. I handed her a carrot, and she didn't want it. Then I really got worried. I called my friend Catherine, we decided I could give her a little simethicone, which I gave her 1cc of. I then massaged her belly for a good hour, all the while Frannie looking at me, "Can you please just leave me alone already?" She was moving around after that, a little inactive, so I gave her some time to rest, maybe she was just full or something. Could have been a little gas bubble or something. I walked by them again earlier, and they were bouncing around, begging for a carrot, which they both ate one, so that made me feel a whole lot better, naturally :). I am just grateful she is not sick.
The Bun Life - New Column Debuts "Dear Baby Fwan," Issues Flying Off The News Stands!
Fan Mail Question: "Dear Baby Fwan, I am hoping you can help. You are so knowledgeable, courageous, and an inspiration to us women, I read your column all the time. My problem is my husbun. He is a typical man, sleeps all day, leaves the lid up on the litterbox, and is downright aggressive at dinner time. He is a control freak also, he won't even let me leave our enclosure, he even put a large fence up around the whole thing made of metal! Isn't that bunny-napping or something? I feel unloved, I know that is typical of English lops, but I am trying not to be racist or judgmental. I tried to get a restraining order against him, but the courts said we were "bonded" and the clerk said I was "S-O-L" but I don't know what that even means. What should I do Baby Fwan??" Love always, Precious in Seattle
Baby Fwan Responds
Dear Precious,
Sorry to hear about your whatever, must be tough. How could you read my column all the time if this is the first one? Something tells me you're blowing smoke up my 'tocks. Anyway, honey you need to get your own identity. Ever hear the old saying, "If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything?" Me neither. Anyway, men are always going to be fat, lazy slobs who think about one thing and one thing only: yup, CARROTS! Ever hear the old proverb about the stick and the carrot? Me neither, but I hear it is pretty cool, and basically says you can get anybun to do anything by using a combination of punches and carrots. Pretty cool right? You have to get out of this relationship, maybe you could fake being barbered? Does he have any life insurance? Without knowing every detail it is hard for me to give you specific answers. I encourage you to write back to me again and divulge some of this stuff to me. Who knows, maybe we can run away together, somewhere where we are free to roam without getting picked up. Ahhh, a girl can dream can't she?
BF
The Bun Life - Tocks?!?!?!?!?
Anyway, what drew me to this subject, aside from the Bigfoot toes Sogna has, (you wouldn't believe how bad Sogna's feet were when she was rescued, even one of her Tocks had to be amputated.) was how weird Frannie's feet were. Incredibly, Frannie has webbed feet! Seriously, she has no toes, I'll have to get a good pic of them so you can see. I spoke with the Genetics professor at our local St. Joseph's College, even sent him a sample of Baby Fwan's hair for advanced DNA genetic profiling (not just the run of the mill genetic profiling, ADVANCED genetic profiling, which is way better, in fact the regular genetic profiling totally sucks!) and the results were astounding.
Actually, first he sent the sample back saying that there must have been some mistake because all that was in the tube was a piece of wire from a Brillo Pad, with a piece of Pumpernickel bagel on the end of it. I assured him that it was Frannie's hair, and that what he got was just a Frannie feather, so I sent it back and he analyzed it for me. He says that Frannie is 35% Duck!!?? That totally explains the webbed feet, maybe even the cowlick she gets! He also said the other 65% is a mixture of nearly every species on the planet. I still don't know where she gets the detachable ears from, but that might never be known definitively anyway. So Fran doesn't have Tocks, kind of sad actually in a way, but I am over it already. Uh oh, Frannie climbing on the ceiling again, gotta go!
The Bun Life - I Like To Read Stories Like This
So two dew-claws up for Kristen and her family! I know this may seem out of place, but if you ever want another bunny I have a black and white Pumpernickel bunny that I am trying to get rid of. She is really a great rabbit, you can't approach her or pick her up, or come near her in any way, and she tears and chews up everything you own, but aside from that she is a real doll. If you're interested I can FedEx her to you overnight. Don't worry, I'll poke some holes in the box. She'll be fine, hopefully. Anyways, don't feel pressured, seriously, as long as you can give me an answer in the next 24 hours, but don't feel pressured by any means, okay? Good luck with your two though, I'm going to sew up my love seat, good night!
The Bun Life - Happy Jolloween!
Let me begin by first saying how much I absolutely HATE Halloween! Seriously, I do. Also, I have new upstairs neighbors now. The new people are WAY different than the amateur porn star couple that moved out. What moved in is Satan's in-laws. It is a couple in their thirties, the gangster type, with their underwear sticking out of their pants. Look, I love hip-hop music too, and if you grew up in Compton then I agree you are probably made of roofing nails. However, when you are a skinny white kid from the posh suburbia-heaven ghetto of Dix Hills, acting like the streets raised you is downright ridiculous looking. Anyway, Snoop Dogg and his Gangsta Hoe have like 80 kids, and they all wear platforms filled with concrete, and they sound like they have a Riverdance Instruction school that runs from 2AM to 1AM the next night, for the one hour they aren't open they are playing tag team wrestling and skydiving off the bed onto the floor, where I hear every bump, tap, slam, and heel stomp like it is beamed directly into my ear cavity. These kids must stay up all night drinking coffee and snorting No-Doz because I here them pounding and kicking and slamming all f*&^&*in night and day, EVERY night and day. I have become almost immune to it lately. I don't want any problems. I know kids will be kids so there is only so much Snoop can do. After all, there is 80 of them. How the hell do they have so many kids? I did the math, according to mine and Frannie's calculations, she must've had her first kid when she was 4. Yeah, not possible, back to the drawing board I guess. Hey, maybe they were like Gremlins and ate some fried chicken after Midnight, and then multiplied 79 times? Who knows.
The buns are great! We are getting all ready for Halloween. I have big plans. Frannie is gonna wash her hair, and then me and her are playing an exhibition Polish Yahtzee marathon with Thumper. We were thinking of doing a Haunted Couch Ride to make some extra money, but the couch is gone so scratch that idea! I am getting a life size picture of Charles Manson, taping it to my apt. door on Halloween, then writing on it "Knock for Candy! Note: I cannot be held liable for ANY sharp instruments found in candy!" That should deter those annoying trick or treaters! Bah-Humbun!
The buns are great! We are getting all ready for Halloween. I have big plans. Frannie is gonna wash her hair, and then me and her are playing an exhibition Polish Yahtzee marathon with Thumper. We were thinking of doing a Haunted Couch Ride to make some extra money, but the couch is gone so scratch that idea! I am getting a life size picture of Charles Manson, taping it to my apt. door on Halloween, then writing on it "Knock for Candy! Note: I cannot be held liable for ANY sharp instruments found in candy!" That should deter those annoying trick or treaters! Bah-Humbun!
The Bun Life - Male Bunny Pickup Lines
Being a male house rabbit has got to be a tough gig. I mean,
it isn’t bad enough you are born scared, but then you have to spend your life
chasing girls that don’t want to be chased. For a male bunny to have at least a
remote chance of passing on his legacy, he has to be one heck of a good talker.
I can only imagine the lines that guy bunnies use on their female counterparts,
some of them probably are:
- "I used to get all the chicks, but I wasn't compatible with any of them." (Get it???)
- "Bartender! I’ll have whatever she wants!"
- "I normally don't go out with girls as ugly as you, but at this point I'll take anything with floppy ears and a heartbeat. The heartbeat's optional."
- "Wow! You smell divine, what is that perfume you're wearing? Hay and Urine? Do they sell it at Macy's?"
- [ANY LINES YOU CAN THINK OF?|
Those are just a few that come to mind. See if you can think
of anymore to add to the list. Imagine what it is like to be a boy bunny in
this hectic house rabbit world they live in., use that for your creative
inspiration!
The Bun Life - They'reeeee Baaacccckkkk
As you know, my friends Chris and Lori graciously took my buns for me roughly 2 weeks ago. Well, there was apparently some gross misunderstanding between me and them. Lori called me Tuesday to find out when I would be "picking up the buns," which understandably befuddled me. I don't know where Chris and Lori are from, or what their native language is, but I never said I was "picking up the buns" at all, ever. I asked if I could drop them off, if they would take them, and they said yes. I never said I wanted them back, nor that I intended to pick them up again.
Needless to say, this is an issue. I was all excited and happy to be Bun-free, joyful that I finally put the boot to those darn rabbits, and now this annoying little thing pops up. I tell you, that is the last time I trust so-called "friends". I saw a lawyer today and filed for full, permanent custody of the buns. Only, I filed custody for Chris and Lori, not for me though. So they now have full permanent custody of the three furry loafs of bread, and not me. So technically, they are now "their" buns, and not mine, so how could they argue that I should take their own buns??? Genius, right? I know, I know, I'm gifted, you don't have to tell me.
I promised the buns I would visit them every time we have a Lolar Eclipse. That is when the Sun, Moon, Earth, Mars, and Boise, Idaho all come into alignment near the equator. Hopefully, that will be soon.
Oh by the way, just kidding, the buns are back and are doing splendid. I missed them terribly, but C&L took wonderful care of them, I can't thank them enough. Thanks guys!
Needless to say, this is an issue. I was all excited and happy to be Bun-free, joyful that I finally put the boot to those darn rabbits, and now this annoying little thing pops up. I tell you, that is the last time I trust so-called "friends". I saw a lawyer today and filed for full, permanent custody of the buns. Only, I filed custody for Chris and Lori, not for me though. So they now have full permanent custody of the three furry loafs of bread, and not me. So technically, they are now "their" buns, and not mine, so how could they argue that I should take their own buns??? Genius, right? I know, I know, I'm gifted, you don't have to tell me.
I promised the buns I would visit them every time we have a Lolar Eclipse. That is when the Sun, Moon, Earth, Mars, and Boise, Idaho all come into alignment near the equator. Hopefully, that will be soon.
Oh by the way, just kidding, the buns are back and are doing splendid. I missed them terribly, but C&L took wonderful care of them, I can't thank them enough. Thanks guys!
The Bun Life - Missing Wabbits & R.I.P. Tango
My bunnies are MISSING! I am doing work in my apartment, and my two friends Chris and Lori, also Bun Life Groupies by the way, are graciously watching my three buns until tomorrow night. A total of almost 7 days or so. I hate being away from them, but I will get them again soon. Thanks goes to Chris and Lori for helping me, they are amazing people, as many bunny rescue people are.
Every time I go over there, we talk to each other non-stop for hours. The only down side is that neither one of them speaks English. They are from Pumpernickelstan, a real small country with a population of paranoid ugly people that are afraid to get picked up. Imagine that? The state bird is the Pumpernickel Swallow, named so because it can't swallow. Not a clue how it eats. Just kidding of course :) They speak perfect English. I am glad they are there, a real life saver for me.
The Bun Life - All New Bun Life Groupie Badge
Shazzie, a Bun Life Groupie, inspired me to create an official badge for the groupies of Bun Life. Here it is:
Nice huh? Make sure you wear it on your blog and/or Facebook page!!
Nice huh? Make sure you wear it on your blog and/or Facebook page!!
The Bun Life - Banana Butt Caught on Camera by Shazzarazzi!!
A new Bun Life groupie, Shazzie, has done me the finest honor of filming her bunny Nutmeg (who is incredibly gorgeous by the way) doing the Banana Butt. Before I comment on it, here is the clip for your viewing pleasure:
Awwwww! That is too funny. I love how she zooms in on the butt for a close-up, that is classic! Poor Nutmeg, compromising her dignity for her banana addiction. Gee, I hope the other bunnies don't find out, then it will be all over school, and before you know it the damn thing will be up on YouTube! Then she'll NEVER get a job for Fran's sake! Uh oh, too late!!
Awwwww! That is too funny. I love how she zooms in on the butt for a close-up, that is classic! Poor Nutmeg, compromising her dignity for her banana addiction. Gee, I hope the other bunnies don't find out, then it will be all over school, and before you know it the damn thing will be up on YouTube! Then she'll NEVER get a job for Fran's sake! Uh oh, too late!!
The Bun Life - Looks Like a Train Came Through the Box!
Clear pic huh? Just got my new camera, it is a Fisher Price model 1. Seriously though, it is a bad pic because I used a cellphone that doesn't have a good camera, plus the poor lighting made it horrible, but it does point out what I wanted it to. You see what bunnies do? They loved to tunnel in the wild, and do it instinctively, so it is hilarious to watch them build tunnels out of everything. If you put something new in the way of where they normally go to, they will first attempt to move it, but if not then out comes the tunnel operation. Since they love going under the middle of my couch because it is an empty space there, I put a cement tube behind the couch and pushed it against the wall, so they could go through the tube but not under the couch. That didn't last long, they tunneled through the tube right where the entrance to the middle of the couch is, by memory! They are such funny animals, I love their odd behaviors. lol.
The Bun Life - These f@!!@%$ Gnats Are Driving Me Insane!
I have these gnats, fruit flies and possibly drain gnats. I can't get rid of them, I tried the jar with apple cider vinegar, dw liquid, and paper inverted cone. They work great, I have 4 of them, 2 in the living room and kitchen, 2 in my office/bedroom. Every day I empty out at least 15 of them from each jar. I had some rotting veggies in the frig for like 2 months. A month ago I realized that gnats were hoarding the frig, so I emptied and bleached the whole thing. Now I keep nothing in there except bare essentials, and anything older than a couple days is immediately tossed. I am thinking that maybe the drip pan is dirty, but I am scared to look, isn't that shameful?? I'm like a little girl when it comes to bugs, I would probably throw my own mother in front of a house fly to save myself!. I keep NOTHING with any organic matter out anywhere. Along with the jars, I have about 400000000 rolls of fly paper hanging from every square inch of the apartment. I taped plastic sheathing over my entire air conditioner in the office because it would run and I heard water running from the condensation in the unit. It is through the wall so I don't want to touch it. I don't need it now anyway, so I sealed the whole thing off. I have a fly swatter that I carry around like a gun. I am getting good at killing them with my hands. Next I'll be like Mr. Miyagi and catching them with chopsticks blindfolded. In the middle of the living room I keep a baby swimming pool there on the floor and I keep it filled with liquid rock candy and coca cola. Do you think that is contributing to the problem? I check the bunnies often, and they seem fine. I never see them reacting to any gnats. If I didn't have bunnies I would blast this whole place with ammonium nitrate, but since I do have bunnies I can only use bunny-safe methods. Too bad the buns don't eat gnats, I could kill two gnats with one Fran! It is tough because the buns now wear the hazmat suits 24/7, looks like I am filming Outbreak two over here. Supernanny, please help us!!!
The Bun Life - Like The New Logo?
I figured it was time for a new better logo/header for the blog, so I just designed the one you see now, tell me what you think about it. I like it, the only thing that bothered me a little was the amount of pink in it. I wanted a bit of pink, and I didn't want to look like a girl had designed it too much. I am still not sure if I will remove the pink border of the bunny circles yet.
Edit 9/26: I did go ahead and put the teal circle shadow instead of the pink, but I left the ears pink.
The Bun Life - Bunny Butt???
I was talking to my friend Catherine, who is also a Bun Life groupie, and I was telling her how Thumper went psycho when I gave him a Craisin. He has always been friendly, but once I gave him a few Craisins, I then had a 24/7 shadow with floppy ears. He would lick my shoes, start to tunnel in my pant leg when I fell asleep on the couch, crawl on me as if maybe if he dug far enough into my chest he could find the secret Craisin storage area, and then sniffed the air on his two hind legs as if he was tracking the Craisin criminal. I have a choice to make, either keep giving him Craisins and possibly have to enter the Witness Protection Program, or stick to carrots and bananas as treats.
Catherine then said something I never heard before, she said that her bunny gets "Banana Butt" when she gives him a piece of banana. Boy, what a visual depiction that sparked in my mind, I pictured Frannie running around with a gaggle of bananas sprouting from her rear-end (also known as butt). What in the hell is "banana butt?". Apparently, according to her and what she says many others, some bunnies butts start shaking when they eat banana. Not the rest of their body though, just the butt. Now I had an Aunt that could do that trick, and she was damn near 500 pounds, but I never heard of a bunny doing that, have you? She said only some bunnies do it, of course mine don't, they don't do anything cool like that, other than digesting my furniture. Do your bunnies do it? If so, do you have a pic or video of it? Good, burn it. No just kidding, send it to me and I will post it here!
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